There are three things in life that remain constant: death, taxes, and people lying to your face nonstop.
1. "Crime doesn't pay. Crime DOES pay, and sometimes it pays very well. But you have to keep some pretty damn unsavory company."
2. "After you get your Master's degree, you are practically guaranteed to be offered a high-paying job out of thin air."
4. "The math teacher telling us that we won't always have a calculator in our pockets."
6. "That if I fail a test, I’ll be kicked out of school. I was 6 when i was told that, and I believed it until I was 12."
8. "'I didn’t receive your message.' What a damn lie — of course you did, I know you just don't want to spend time with me."
9. "Who I call my aunt is, in reality, my biological mother. She got pregnant in college and wanted to continue on her career path. So her brother and wife, who I call mom and dad, adopted me. Everyone but me was aware of this, and if they all had it their way, they would have let me take it to the grave. The only reason i figured it out is that after my mom and dad split, my mom was mad at me and told me. I was in high school, and I didn't believe her — until I asked my slightly intoxicated aunt about it. I still don't know who my biological father is 10+ years later. I've grown to accept it, but it's still a little strange."
10. "My dad told me one of his jeans that had ripped pockets got like that when a crocodile attacked him in the Amazons."
14. "That vaccines cause autism. My mother is anti-vax and insisted the only reason I was diagnosed with Aspergers was because I got a shot as a kid. I believed her up until I was 15 and they started teaching in science to 'do my own research' and find factual evidence instead of just believing anything anyone says."
15. "I think the Iraq War has to be high on the list. Lots of people were lied to, lots of people died. Pretty unmatched in more recent history."
Got your own? See you in the comments!
These entries have been edited for length and clarity.