1. Game night usually ends badly…because of you.
GODDAMNIT LAUREN, GUESS MY FREAKING CHARADE.
3. Fundraising can easily get out of control.
I WILL RAISE THE MOST MONEY DAMNIT.
4. Class projects make you go slowly insane because you can’t stand relying on others to do well.
Just let me do everything, please.
5. And joining your company team is a huge gamble.
Sorry for yelling at you last night in the game, boss…
6. Even trivia night can quickly become your worst nightmare.
THAT QUESTION WASN’T EVEN FAIR.
7. When someone is working out next to you at the gym, things get intense.
- Smiles at person then immediately ups speed to be faster than them. *
8. Signing up for a marathon means you don’t sleep for weeks.
Must. Keep. Training.
9. Being on a team with a bunch of people that aren’t competitive is actually your worst nightmare.
What do you mean you’re just “having fun?”
10. A debate in class was always your favorite day but your classmates were legitimately upset if they had to debate against you.
Ugh, not again.
11. Playing any kind of sports against your friends is NEVER a good idea.
It’s never “just a game.”
12. In fact, you try to avoid competing against anyone you like because you are worried about how it might end.
I’m sorry for how I acted when I wasn’t winning.
13. Watching your favorite team and knowing you can do NOTHING to help them win is enough to destroy you.
THIS IS INHUMANE.
14. It takes you longer than most to “move on” from a loss.
Will I ever smile again?
15. It’s difficult for you to “take it easy” on anyone, even children.
Life isn’t fair, MIGHT AS WELL LEARN NOW KID.
16. Things like Easter egg hunts get out of hand.
If you don’t find the most eggs, what’s the point?
17. You always had to know everyone’s grades, not just your own.
Always good to be familiar with the competition.
18. You have been in legitimate fights about who called “shotgun” first.
Friendships have ended.
19. It’s difficult to participate in a casual game of rock, paper, scissors.
I demand a rematch.
21. Every moment turns into a competition and you can’t even help it.
RACE YOU THERE!!!!
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