1. The beach doesn't want anyone to outshine it.
WHO'S CUTE NOW? Still me. The beach.
2. Or for anyone to get too romantic near it.
3. It definitely doesn't like people who pose for bikini glam shots.
4. Or cute couple pictures.
5. Worst of all, wedding pictures. Nope. GTFO.
6. And if people don't learn their lesson from others, the beach will keep teaching it.
7. The beach isn't gonna stand for anyone's early morning yoga.
8. And people driving on it.
9. And anyone who tries to parasail off the beach may be punished.
10. Sometimes it doesn't feel like being surfed on.
11. Or witnessing people relaxing in the salty breeze.
12. It will steal your clothing.
13. It will ruin your family pictures.
14. And your glamour shots.
15. And when you try to build an amazing sand castle, the beach won't have any of that shit.
In life there are winners and losers, and I'm here to remind you that you're the loser.