75 Thoughts I Had While Watching "Selena" For The First Time
Bidi Bidi Why Why
1. How have I never watched this before?
2. This year on Thanksgiving I will be thankful for Jennifer Lopez's film career.
3. This music sounds sad. Am I ready for this?
5. Oh my god a horse-drawn carriage, she is a queen.
6. I'm actually shocked Taylor Swift hasn't tried to enter stage via horse-drawn carriage yet.
7. 10/10 would attend this concert.
8. Jennifer Lopez looks literally exactly the same now as in 1997.
9. Raise your hand if you've ever felt personally victimized by Jennifer Lopez.
10. Woah, no wonder there's literally NO ONE at this restaurant; this dude is a dick.
11. YES RIP THAT CHECK UP.
12. These guys trying to sing to this crowd and no one listening is how I feel when I try to speak up in a group text.
13. I haven't seen so many people pissed about a dance ending since 7th grade when the lights came on and everyone could see the armpit stains they'd been hiding.
14. "We Belong Together" is a GREAT SONG.
15. I'm kind of very pissed that my family never started a band.
16. These kids' reactions to singing about feelings mimic most twentysomething men talking about them.
17. Can I eat at this restaurant Y/N?
18. Oh… so no :(
19. These guys in these shimmery shirts think they are cool but they don't even KNOW what Selena is capable of.
20. Why can Selena dance better than I can at 9 years old?
21. Oh my god this bejeweled bra... Madonna who?
22. Excuse me "She's Just A Woman" sir, I can't wait for you to watch this movie that you're literally in.
23. Now that I think about it, I'm shocked school buses don't get stuck more often; those things must be hard to drive.
24. Why are these men referring to Selena in the plural form?
25. Oh, so she can sing, is literally perfect, and designs clothes too? FML.
26. Oh HELLO, man with long hair.
27. I feeeeeel like they could've taken his bracelets off of him without cutting them?
28. This reminds me a lot of that time I decided to try and be alternative for three weeks in 9th grade and gave up.
29. SELENA DOESN'T F AROUND WAITING FOR A MAN, she just goes for it.
30. Ugh, typical man trying to show off for literally no reason when food is around and obviously cannot compete for attention.
31. Shit, she got the #1 spot and I'm already crying this is not good.
32. YES SELENA, GET IT, KISS HIM GIRL.
33. Oh my god, they are in love.
34. Marcela is the ULTIMATE wing man.
35. CHRIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
36. Selena telling her dad she would handle the press was pure boss.
37. YES THAT WHITE BEDAZZLED BRA.
38. Can you even BLAME the fans for breaking the stage and wanting to be closer to her?
39. This scene on the dock is so romantic, I need a Selena song to make me feel better about it.
40. Abraham DEFINITELY knows what is happening.
41. Alright, look, I supported this relationship but this marriage thing came out of nowhere.
42. On second thought though can you imagine Selena's wedding dress creation???
43. Oh shit, dad with the ULTIMATUM.
44. I know Chris and Selena are having a serious conversation about their future, but all I can think about is how I want those fries.
45. Can we talk for a quick sec about how iconic Suzette is? She does not mess around.
46. "Shouldn't have dared me." Oh.MY.God
47. Wow holy shit "the hardest part is letting go." Is this movie changing my entire life???
48. Selena bringing up marriage again as if it's as casual as getting a pizza.
49. Chris is not the only one confused about the concept of bridesmaids dresses.
50. IS SELENA ABOUT TO GET MARRIED.
51. True love cannot be stopped.
52. I feel like the Grinch must have watched this movie when his heart grew two sizes.
53. OMG THEY ARE MARRIED??????
54. Oh fuckkkk…this radio just ruined everything like Sarah Koenig circa December 2014.
55. The honeymoon was so short… a mile, tops.
56. Woah did Abraham just hug Chris? I am crying again.
57. A crossover album AND A STORE???
58. Why do I have a bad feeling about this?
59. Oh hell no this saleslady is not rude to SELENA.
60. "Who's Selena?" GIRL YOU ARE ABOUT TO LEARN.
61. Oh. My. God. "Excuse me miss? We don't need the dress." PLANTS JUST DIED.
62. SHE WON THE GRAMMY. What if I don't have any tears left at the end of this?
63. I'm starting to get a really bad feeling about this.
64. On a scale of one to never come to work again how much am I going to regret watching this at work?
65. I feel like I wouldn't be SUPERRR into a ring with an egg on it, but that's just me.
66. Oh shit Yolanda WHY, why steal?
67. I CANNOT HANDLE THIS SUSPENSE.
68. Oh my god, back to where we started... this is definitely not a good sign.
69. OMFG no. No. NO. Just no.
71. I hate this.
72. Oh god not this song.
73. I cannot face my co-workers after this.
74. WHY WOULD THIS HAPPEN?
75. Pardon me, I have to go cry myself to sleep now.