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23 Things No One In The Midwest Has Time For

Snow in April.

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1. Seasons that last approximately four days.

Spring of 2014: Three days.
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Spring of 2014: Three days.

2. And 30-degree weather in the middle of April.

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THIS HAS TO BE A JOKE.

3. An indecisive Mother Nature who can't decide between rain and snow.

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SLEET. WOW. AWESOME. COOL.

4. Waiting until it's actually October to pick out a pumpkin.

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:: runs to the pumpkin patch in September ::

5. Dealing with slow traffic because SOMEONE isn't used to driving on snow.

Rookie.
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Rookie.

6. And then dealing with construction on every main road during the summer.

I'm sure I'll get where I'm going in three hours...
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I'm sure I'll get where I'm going in three hours...

7. Going outside when it's below zero.

LOL NO THANKS.
Buena Vista Pictures / Via imgur.com

LOL NO THANKS.

8. Weather forecasts that look like this:

This should be fun.

This should be fun.

9. Trying to get anywhere after a big rain.

Let me just get my canoe.
Via imgur.com

Let me just get my canoe.

10. Hailstorms throwing down pea-sized hail on everything in sight.

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YEAH NO, IT'S FINE, DOESN'T HURT AT ALL.

11. Irrationally freezing weather on Halloween making it rather difficult to gather candy.

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C'MON.

12. Living anywhere that isn't as beautiful as this every autumn.

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LOL, no thanks.

13. Calling carbonated beverages anything other than "pop."

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Because that IS what it's called.

14. Cold weather and snow getting in the way of cheering on your favorite team.

Cheese is just as good when it's frozen.

Cheese is just as good when it's frozen.

15. Waiting until it's warm outside to wear shorts.

Why wait?
Via gelferstone.com

Why wait?

16. Eating pizza that isn't deep dish style.

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I mean, pizza is pizza but is it really?

17. Waiting for a cow to get out of the middle of the road.

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Moooooooooooove.

18. Getting a milkshake from anywhere other than Steak 'n Shake.

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What's the point?

19. Swimming anywhere other than a lake during the summer.

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Lakes > pools. Fact of life.

20. Thinking twice about getting gas from a place called Kum & Go.

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LOL, get it?

21. People thinking that you can actually tip cows.

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Good luck.

22. Dealing with anyone who doesn't have Midwestern manners.

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23. And listening to anyone who says the Midwest isn't the best part of the United States.

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Midwest is best. Period.

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