1. Not wanting to go to the bathroom with friends. There is a chance they could hear you pee. And you can’t just stand awkwardly waiting.
2. And then the pain from holding too long because you couldn’t pee in front of anyone.
3. Avoiding drinking at all costs when you’re not near a private bathroom.
4. Praising everything when you discover a private bathroom.
5. Wanting to cry when you notice cracks in the bathroom door. Please do NOT make eye contact with me. This is difficult enough as it is.
6. And actually crying if someone accidentally opens your stall door while you’re trying to go.
7. Having actual nightmares about long bathroom lines. Everyone is waiting and can hear.
8. Refusing to live somewhere that doesn’t have a bathroom fan. What else is going to block out the noise?!?!?
9. Asking your friends to turn on the faucet for you and praying that it isn’t an automatic. We all know automatics will stop right in the middle of your flow.
10. Waiting over ten minutes for the people in the stalls next to you to vacate the stalls before you can let it flow. Everyone assumes you’re pooping and you don’t even care as long as they leave.
11. Flushing the toilet to mute the sound of your pee and hoping you can finish peeing before the flush is over.
12. And having a higher water bill because of this.
13. Always remembering the very first time you successfully peed in public and regarding it as more important than most other things.
14. And wondering why you can’t seem to do that again. Come ON bladder, work with me here.
15. Having legitimate envy for the person in the stall next to you that started peeing immediately.
16. And the insane amount of joy you feel when you enter a public restroom only to find that no one else is in there. Let it flow.