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    19 Things People With Depression Want You To Know When You're Dating Them

    Be present.

    We asked the BuzzFeed Community to share their best advice when dating someone with depression. Here are the thoughtful responses.

    1. Don't force them to talk about it.

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    Submitted by Amanda Baker, Facebook

    2. Don't try to be the "fix" for their depression. They probably aren't looking for a fix... just support and understanding.


    Submitted by Katie Holzhause, Facebook

    3. Remember that just because you are dating them does not mean they will automatically be happier or "cured."


    A relationship (even a loving, healthy one) is not a cure for someone's depression and/or anxiety.

    Submitted by Amy Joyce, Facebook

    4. And keep in mind that someone who is depressed can be happy at times, and feel helpless at other times.

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    Submitted by Katie Holzhause, Facebook

    5. Let them know that it's OK to feel sad, down, and anything else. Just allow them to feel.

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    Submitted by Ariane Bruno, Facebook

    6. Try not to offer up "easy solutions" like exercising more, or appreciating what they have.

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    Chances are, they might feel like you assume they aren't trying to get better at all, which isn't usually the case.

    Submitted by Katie Holzhause, Facebook

    7. Don't let their depression walk all over you. Set boundaries and stick to them and know when to throw in the towel.

    The WB

    Submitted by Azure Adams, Facebook

    8. Know that the state of their mental health is not indicative of the state of your relationship.


    Submitted by Melissa Jackson, Facebook

    9. Be patient.

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    Submitted by libbyjohnson

    10. Give them their alone time, and give yourself alone time, too.

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    Submitted by William Sheldon Smith, Facebook

    11. For every negative thought they have, challenge them to think of a real, positive thought.

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    Submitted by Ali Beeblebrox, Facebook

    12. And if they prefer to talk to someone else, or a therapist over you, don't take it personally.

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    It probably makes them feel guilty to talk to you... like they're burdening you.

    Submitted by Amanda Baker, Facebook

    13. Try to redirect their focus.


    Have them play with the pet, watch a movie, go for a walk, play 20 questions, or ask each other silly questions about the world and debate for hours.

    Submitted by Krystal Watanabe, Facebook

    14. If they're seeing a therapist, go to a session together.

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    It will allow for more open and honest conversation and understanding.

    Submitted by Miranda Kramlich, Facebook

    15. Remember to take care of yourself first. Seriously. You can only be strong for them, after you're strong for yourself first.


    Submitted by Wynne Baker, Facebook

    16. Urge them to seek professional help if they are not receiving any.

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    It may seem harsh, but sometimes it just takes some extra encouragement.

    Submitted by Claire Sparks, Facebook

    17. Find a group, either in person or online, of others battling depression with their partners.


    You may learn coping mechanisms, or draw strength and hope from all those who've successfully fought a shared enemy, or are currently in the trenches with you.

    Submitted by Justin Coffey, Facebook

    18. Create a code word for when they really need you to be understanding, or need to remove yourself from a social situation.


    Submitted by emzillaj

    19. And don't feel like you always have to say something. Just be there.


    Submitted by mollyc4dc773567

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