22 Things Everyone Who Hates Being Touched Needs People To Know

My personal bubble is the size of a country.

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1. Every time someone goes in for a hug, your body is just like "I reject this."

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2. You are drawn to accessories that discourage touching of any kind.

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Spikes match with spikes. This is not an accident.

3. And you legitimately relate to cactuses on every level imaginable.

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You wish only that you could produce needles.

4. You feel like cats just *get* you.

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The whole "avoiding human contact unless being petted" thing.

6. It's OK for people to touch your bare skin...if they want to die.

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7. And trying to make it through school with teachers who thought they could touch shoulders was such a struggle.

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Excuse me, I would rather sit through five hours of calculus than have you touch me.

8. You really wonder why it is that people feel the need to touch body art.

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This isn't a scratch and sniff tattoo.

9. You know it's possible to be both perfectly happy and loving AND just not want to be touched.

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I'm not mad; I just don't want your hands near me.

10. Concerts and big parties are your personal nightmare.

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Too. Many. Bodies.

11. Even someone's words touching your ears is a little much, tbh.

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Do your part to end noise pollution today.

12. If someone HAS to hug you, they'd better make it brief.

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A quick, professional tap is enough. Too much, even.

13. You could write an entire guide on why people should literally NEVER touch you.

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Page 1: Because you said so.

14. You know the pain of loving an affectionate person.

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Let me love you from a distance.

15. You have definite rules about personal space in public.

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ARM'S DISTANCE.

16. Your favorite kind of cuddling is the kind where there is no cuddling.

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¯\_(ツ)_/¯

17. Your go-to look is "unapproachable."

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18. You know the worst part of any relationship is sharing a bed.

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Stay in your lane.

19. You do not understand why people at the gym feel the need to get close to sweaty strangers.

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Can you grunt over THERE?

20. If someone tries to flirt with you by getting too close, you shut it down immediately.

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Love means never touching.

21. There is nothing more annoying to you than posing for a picture and hearing "GET CLOSER."

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This person is already halfway inside my body, how much closer can we get?

22. And, above all else, you think tickling should be illegal.

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Go to prison. Now.