1. The best part of New Year's to you is that while everyone is out, you get to be home, without pants, watching Netflix.
2. The one time you were pressured into going out, you genuinely thought about wearing sweatpants.
3. And while you were out, you "accidentally" threw streamers into someone's eye.
4. And ever since the one time you were pressured into going out, you've lied about being sick every year since then.
5. You HATE the idea of the kiss at midnight.
Because, like, what if you have to pee???