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Are You Ready To Graduate College?

Cap and gown? More like nap and frown.

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  1. MGM
    Check
    You take a nap every day.
    Check
    You take a nap at least three times a week.
    Check
    You are able to function without a nap.
    Check
    You have fallen asleep in one of your classes recently.
    Check
    You have skipped one of your classes recently because you didn't feel like going.
    Check
    You have stopped pretending to care about class.
    Check
    You have questioned what you are going to do with your life.
    Check
    You have wondered how anyone knows what they are going to do with their life.
    Check
    You have wondered if life pretty much sucks forever after college.
    Check
    You have wondered where the last four years went.
    Check
    You have wondered why anyone is excited to graduate.
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    You have wondered how anyone ISN'T excited to graduate.
    Check
    You have looked at freshmen and wondered why they looked so tiny.
    Check
    You want to scream at the next person who asks you what your plan after college is.
    Check
    You want to scream in general.
    Check
    You have thought about what it takes to become an adult.
    Check
    You have thought about learning how to cook.
    Check
    You have wondered how long you can live on a diet of pizza and Easy Mac.
    Check
    You have wondered why you would want to eat anything other than pizza and Easy Mac.
    Check
    You have considered going to bed at a normal time.
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    You have thought about watching less Netflix and reading more.
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    You have briefly thought about finances.
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    You have mastered the art of pretending to have your shit together.
    Check
    You have wondered if anyone actually likes their job.
    Check
    You have recently looked at college juniors with extreme envy.
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    You have wondered why you ever actually paid for a textbook.
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    You are a pro when it comes to writing papers in less than two hours.
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    You find house parties to be annoying.
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    You don't remember how to study.
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    You cannot imagine not being able to wear sweatpants almost every day.
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    You own business attire.
    Check
    You are capable of waking up before 8 a.m. and still functioning.
    Check
    You go out more than three times during the week.
    Check
    You have moved on from cheap beer and boxed wine.
    Check
    You are ready and able to make new friends.
    Check
    You are capable of being around someone you are attracted to without trying to hook up with them.
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    And you are ready to date instead of staying out until you make out.
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    You are ready to start buying toilet paper instead of just stealing it from the bathrooms on campus.
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    You have ordered your cap and gown.
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    You have questioned who the hell even came up with the design for caps and gowns.
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    You have thought about applying for jobs.
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    You have actually applied for jobs.
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    You can't even remember how many jobs you have applied for.
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    You have wondered how anyone gets a job after college.
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    You have wondered how you're supposed to gain experience if no one will hire you.
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    You have begun using LinkedIn.
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    You have written an actual cover letter.
    Check
    You have changed your name and/or privacy settings on Facebook.
    Check
    You have been to a job interview.
    Check
    And you have entered a quarter-life crisis.

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