50 Horrific Things Anyone With A Period Has Probably Experienced
BLOOD IN THE BUTTCRACK.
1. When you lose a blood clot and it just chills in your pad or plops into the toilet and you’re like, “Am I going to die?”
2. When your pad gets a little stuck to your pubic hair and you have to rip them apart to take the pad off.
3. When blood from your pad seeps into your buttcrack.
4. When you stick a wad of toilet paper into your vagina to make it from the shower to your room without your house looking like a scene from a horror movie.
5. When you wake up to what looks like a crime scene in your bed in the morning.
6. When you can’t tell if you need to shit or are just having bad cramps.
7. Getting constipated for like two days leading up to your period.
8. When you wear a tampon expecting your period to start, but it doesn’t, but then you don’t wear a tampon and OF COURSE your period fucking starts.
9. When you just put a tampon in, but you suddenly have to poop, so you’re forced to pull out a dry tampon.
10. When the bloodstains in your underwear are just too strong and you can’t get them out.
11. Rubbing your knuckles down to the bare bone trying to wash blood out of your underwear/pants/etc.
12. Unexpectedly bleeding through to your pants and having to try to cover your ass as you run home.
13. Being paranoid you’ve bled through onto the seat you’re sitting on.
14. When you can’t find the tampon string because it’s stuck in between your labia (or worse, your buttcrack) and you have to dig it out.
15. When you’re spotting and you think your period is starting, but you “dry up” for at least another day or two.
16. Forgetting whether you took your first tampon out and being paranoid you just pushed it up farther with your new tampon.
17. Finding an old tampon that WAS shoved up by another tampon.
18. The smell of old tampons in your trash can.
19. When there’s no good way to dispose of your used tampon or pad so you kind of hide it in the trash can by covering it with other trash.
20. Accidentally flinging blood onto a wall when you take a tampon out.
21. Dripping blood all over your hands as you take a tampon out on a heavy day.
22. Accidentally dripping blood onto your pants after taking a tampon out.
23. Or when you finally do poop and it’s literally explosive.
24. When you are using the bathroom and you go to wipe and you’re so bloody it gets all over your hand.
25. When you have to insert a dry tampon or take one out.
26. When you’re in a jam and have to use a cardboard tampon applicator.
27. Or when you’re using a tampon without an applicator and it’s an especially bloody day.
28. When you just put in a tampon but then you have to pee and your string becomes pee-y and then you have to touch it to take it out.
29. Trying to figure out if your vagina discharged or you’re actually bleeding.
30. When you have to cough but it’s your heavy day and your gooey blood explodes all over your underwear.
31. When your period randomly starts and you have no tampons or pads so you have to create a makeshift pad out of toilet paper and it goes into your vagina crack.
32. When you try to take your menstrual cup out but the blood splatters everywhere.
33. When you wear a gigantic-ass pad to bed and feel like you’re wearing a diaper and then you don’t even bleed.
34. When you wash your vagina whilst on your period and the bubbles are pink.
35. When you are in the shower and try to push out as much blood as you can.
36. When you stand up after using the restroom and blood slowly trickles down your leg.
37. When you wake up in the morning and can feel the liquid so you half walk/half crawl to the bathroom to avoid it all spilling over like a wave of red.
38. When you feel the first trickle of blood drip out from your tampon and know you’ve bled through so you run to the bathroom while covering your ass with your hands.
39. When you put in a tampon and then try to walk and realize it isn’t in correctly so then you have to take it out and try again but now you’re dry and it hurts like a bitch.
40. And when you didn’t even know your period was close but you wake up with a very deep pimple that hurts to touch.
41. When you have trouble finding the end of your cup or tampon string so you have to spread your legs far apart in the public restroom.
42. When you stand up and feel that your pad has shifted to the side so you try to maneuver it back into the middle and feel the blood hit your thigh.
43. When you think you have to fart but then blood comes out with it.
44. When you’re bloated as hell and try to put on anything other than sweats.
45. When you’re in the midst of your period and you see a tampon commercial where a woman is playing sports or jumping into a lake and you’re like “fuck off.”
46. When you wanna have sex because your period makes you horny but you’re losing ounces of blood a second and you aren’t sure you wanna do laundry.
47. When you can’t tell if your vagina is sweating or bleeding.
48. When you’re trying to take out your menstrual cup and you accidentally pinch yourself.
49. When you have an event planned and your period shows up early because THE WORLD IS AGAINST US.
50. And when you have to deal with all of this shit every single month and people still have the audacity to joke about being emotional while on your period.