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Fifteen Thong Songs That Should Probably Make A Comeback NOW

Could you use a little more of this energy in your life these days? Same. That’s why I’ve put together a playlist of the top sixteen (fifteen plus a little extra) best underwear songs of all time, counting down from 16 to number 1. Step 1: Remove Clothing Step 2: Start Playlist Step 3: Dance. Anything is possible. You'll find a close approximation on Spotify HERE.

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16. "Those to Come" by The Shins

This song might not be the wildest on the list, but we love the idea of, “makin’ tea in your underwear.”

15. "Lady Marmalade" by Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, Mya, Pink

Remember this one? Technically they only mention “garter belts” in this classic, but it makes it onto our list anyway because these ladies are all very much rocking out in their lingerie throughout the music video and this song needs to make its way back onto all girls night pregame playlists ASAP.

14. "Clothes Off!" by Gym Class Heroes

We appreciate the sentiment. He just gets it: “We have to take our clothes off to have a good time.”

13. "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas

We always appreciate a good booty-centric music video. Plus, nothing makes dancing in your underwear more fun than Fergie singing about lovely lady lumps, right?

And then there are these lyrics:

“So don’t pull on my hand boy,

You ain’t my man, boy,

I’m just tryn’a dance boy,

And move my hump.”

You go, girl. Those are the words of a woman who’s wearing a matching set of lingerie all for herself.

12. "Give it Away" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

This makes the list mostly because the Red Hot Chili Peppers played a show where Flea was in his underwear for this entire song. Also, when it comes to jumping around, dancing in your underwear, a little head banging always helps.

11. "Underwear" by The Minions (Despicable Me 2)

Who could forget that time the minions turned “I Swear,” by The Osmonds, into a song about underwear? Kids these days.

10. "Underwear" by Pulp

Maybe #9 is a little creepy, but we’ve got to give credit for extreme dedication to the theme. Thanks for this one, Pulp.

9. "Underwear" by The Magnetic Fields

“A pretty girl in her underwear… / If there’s anything better in this world – who cares? / La mort, c’est la mort, / Mais l’amour, c’est l’amour.”

Underwear, French, and compliments, all together in one song? Yes please.

8. "Mary Jane's Last Dance" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

These unforgettable lyrics will make you consider ditching your clothing for good, moving somewhere where the weather’s always warm, and changing your name to Mary Jane. Tom Petty has us fully enchanted long before he immortalizes Mary Jane’s underwear with the following line…

“There’s pigeons down on Market Square / She’s standin’ in her underwear / Lookin' down from a hotel room / nightfall will be comin’ soon.”

Tom Petty, you really are an American genius. You even make pigeons sound alright.

7. "Bootylicious" by Beyonce

Life Goal: Tell someone, “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly / I don’t think you’re ready / Cause my body too bootylicious for ya babe.”

Let this song remind you to treat yourself like a queen, especially when you’re rocking little to no clothing.

6. "Undone (The Sweater Song)" by Weezer

This one goes on this list because it comes with a fun fact: Thanks to the line referring to “Superman skivvies,” fans now bring (usually very large) superman briefs to Weezer concerts. Rivers Cuomo has apparently been pelted with said underwear during many a concert since the release of this song. No. seriously.

5. To be fair, R. Kelly released an entire album titled “Black Panties” & no, we’re not surprised either.

We are not going to force ourselves to pick a song to come back from this album, though some of the lyrics are… quite something. This is NOT on the list because of the album, though. Thanks to Jimmy Kimmel this gives us the opportunity to introduce both R. Kelly’s ridiculous album AND Benedict Cumberbatch, so we will leave you with this:

https://youtu.be/sNPp74zh8lM

4. ANYTHING by the Barenaked Ladies

First, nakedness is in their DNA – who else would have loved to be a fly on the wall in their naming brainstorm session? Not just naked ladies, barenaked. Super important distinction.

Second, in the song “Pinch Me,” they dedicate an extra special line to underwear:

“I could hide out under here / I just made you say ‘underwear’”

Clever.

3. "[I Wanna Be] Your Underwear" by Bryan Adams

Bryan Adams released a great song entirely about underwear (and no, the concept is not an oxymoron, thanks) in 1996. He may have been the first… Did anyone else just realize that 1996 is nearly TWO decades ago and feel really, really old?

2. "The Thong Song" by Sisquo

Yea, yea, here’s the one you’ve all been waiting for: THE Thong Song. BUT, did you know that the premise of the song is Sisquo trying to define a thong to his young daughter? Not entirely sure what to do with that one, but just figured we’d all be more educated in knowing it.

1. A little extra...

…And before you go, here’s a boy scout song about underwear to the tune of “God Bless America”:

God bless my underwear, my only pair.
Stand beside them, and guide them,
Through the rips, through the holes, through the tears.
From the washer, to the dryer, to the clothesline in the air.
God bless my underwear, my only pair.

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