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11 Ways To Make Your Excuse For Forgetting Valentine’s Day Sound More Legit

Love: a sacred union between two people consistently making excuses for their actions toward one another. <3

1. Try workshopping it with an accent.


"I'm sorry I gave you a homemade coupon book for Valentine's Day again this year, and that actually it's just the same coupon book from last year, and also that I just found it behind the futon" lands more softly on the ears if it's conveyed in a Southern Irish accent.

2. Say it louder.


As the age-old adage decrees, "The louder you say it, the more important it is."

3. Start each sentence with: "No offense..."

Princess Pictures

This will ensure that your Valentine is not offended, since now they can't be. Because you said it!

4. Rip "Feb. 14" out of all of your calendars. Then show your partner that there was no way you could have remembered yesterday was Valentine's Day, as it literally isn't even in any of your calendars.


It literally isn't!

5. Apologize and then hand your lover a gift card to an American quick-service fast-food sandwich restaurant chain.


Personally, I have never been to an American quick-service fast-food sandwich restaurant chain, but I have heard that people like American quick-service fast-food sandwich restaurant chains. Maybe if a former lover had ever been so gracious as to gift me with an American quick-service fast-food sandwich restaurant chain gift card as a form of apology for forgetting Valentine's Day, I would have gone. But as it stands, I haven't!

6. Put the excuse in a poem.

Comedy Central

Roses are red.

I promise I'm not bluffing.

I'm sorry I forgot that yesterday was Valentine's Day

And bought you absolutely nothing!

7. Use a vocoder to relay your excuse.


If you deliver bad news but sound like Cher while doing it, it's hard for people to be mad at you. It's just science!

8. Do something worse than forgetting Valentine's Day so that forgetting Valentine's Day, by comparison to this awful thing, seems like no big deal at all!


For your consideration: perjury, grand larceny, taking a call on an elevator.

9. Ask former President of the United States Barack Obama to vouch for you.


If Barack Obama vouches for you, then your excuse will seem legit.

10. Do not ask my ex-boyfriend.


If Jeremy S. vouches for you, then your excuse will not seem legit.

11. Or just consider genuinely apologizing and meaning it!!!!!!


IDK! Give it a try!!!!

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