41 Things That Happen Every Time You Start A New Video Game
Resist the urge to throw your controller at the screen.
1. You waste a lot of time picking a name and building your character.
2. And you agonize over ever little choice, like nose height.
3. You always try to avoid that one NPC who says, "Welcome to ____ town!"
4. But then end up talking to everyone in the first town, just in case.
5. You're very talkative in games. In the real world? Not so much.
6. You sprint everywhere. Why is there even a walk option?
7. For some reason, every male character is in a full suit of armor, while the female characters are all in slightly armored lingerie.
8. There are two types of players: the ones who get through the main quest as fast as possible, and the ones who grind out every single side quest.
9. And there's always that one player who is way under-leveled for the area they're in.
10. You save everything you come across in case you need it later.
11. And then you never end up using anything later.
12. Any NPC that has something useful to say usually ends up only saying it once.
13. You spend more time on the map screen than you do playing because it's so easy to get lost.
14. You have an instinctual and immediate reaction to anything shiny.
15. You have zero issue entering homes and taking whatever you please.
16. You'd sell the armor off a companion's back to upgrade your weapons.
17. But then you find a better weapon in a random chest right after you blow all your money on the fanciest weapon a vendor has to offer.
18. So you reload your game and try again.
19. You skip every cutscene in an overly complicated RPG.
20. You're inventory becomes a sea of restoration items and healing herbs by the last act of the game.
21. It will forever be a mystery where you keep all those weapons and guns.
22. You save to a new slot each time... just in case.
23. As your level goes up, weaker enemies just become a nuisance instead of a challenge.
24. You get stressed out when the battle music kicks in.
25. The boss battles always seem to sneak up to you when you're out of MP and low on healing items.
26. Sometimes you need to burn a high-powered item just to survive a fairly minor boss battle.
27. You have a harder time fighting the mini bosses than the final boss.
28. After your umpteenth time dying, you throw your control and swear that you'll "never play this stupid game again."
29. And then you start playing again 5 minutes later.
30. You feel a true sense of loss when you realize you died without saving your game in a long time.
31. When an enemy character switches sides and joins your party, suddenly they seem to be a whole lot weaker.
32. Enemies that self-destruct are the WORST.
33. You sometimes can't tell if a scripted boss fight is designed so that you'll lose, or if you should be burning through health items.
34. If you lose, you seriously consider spending actual money to upgrade your gear.
35. You wait as long as humanly possible to run out for a bathroom break.
36. You feel an immediate kinship with other people who play the same game as you.
37. You never have enough gold or money or points at the start of the game, and then more than you know what to do with by the end of the game.
38. You get sidetracked by collection quests and totally lose track of the main storyline.
39. Just when you think you have defeated the boss, it transforms into the real boss.
40. You become overwhelmed with emotion when you manage to cast a spell on a boss that you never expected to work.
41. Or you over-level before the final fight and take the final boss out in one hit. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯