2. John Axford, Relief Pitcher, Milwaukee Brewers
Pirates once sailed the
Seven Seas, seeking plunder.
Now they play baseball.
3. Brian Wilson, Relief Pitcher, San Francisco Giants
You think it’s a beard.
Brian thinks it’s a weapon
Of mass destruction.
4. Jayson Werth, Outfielder, Washington Nationals
Let the animals
Come to me; I am Jayson,
5. David Ortiz, Designated Hitter, Boston Red Sox
You can cut diamonds
On the edges of David’s
Beard. Fuck a mustache.
6. Clay Zavada, Relief Pitcher, Cincinnati Reds
Clay’s stache can bench more
Than any stache in the league.
Do not mess with it.
7. Manny Ramirez, Designated Hitter, Oakland Athletics
Kiss the facial hair,
Manny says. He then eats a
Whole honey-baked ham.
8. Jim Leyland, Manager, Detroit Tigers
Jim Leyland’s mustache
Smells like cigarettes, wisdom.
Drink deeply from it.
- Rick Perry, who famously wanted to abolish the Energy Department, said at his confirmation hearing to lead the Energy Department he now rejects "recommending its elimination."
- Vladimir Putin has used KGB tactics to seize on a rift between the US and Turkey, an effort to expand Russia's influence and divide NATO.
- Donald Trump's pick for treasury secretary, Steve Mnuchin, defended at his confirmation hearing using offshore tax shelters, saying it was an inevitable result of current tax codes.
- Been wondering why your friends now look like weird glamorous cartoons? That's thanks to Chinese selfie app Meitu. Say cheese 📸