2. John Axford, Relief Pitcher, Milwaukee Brewers
Pirates once sailed the
Seven Seas, seeking plunder.
Now they play baseball.
3. Brian Wilson, Relief Pitcher, San Francisco Giants
You think it’s a beard.
Brian thinks it’s a weapon
Of mass destruction.
4. Jayson Werth, Outfielder, Washington Nationals
Let the animals
Come to me; I am Jayson,
5. David Ortiz, Designated Hitter, Boston Red Sox
You can cut diamonds
On the edges of David’s
Beard. Fuck a mustache.
6. Clay Zavada, Relief Pitcher, Cincinnati Reds
Clay’s stache can bench more
Than any stache in the league.
Do not mess with it.
7. Manny Ramirez, Designated Hitter, Oakland Athletics
Kiss the facial hair,
Manny says. He then eats a
Whole honey-baked ham.
8. Jim Leyland, Manager, Detroit Tigers
Jim Leyland’s mustache
Smells like cigarettes, wisdom.
Drink deeply from it.
- Trump gave a speech in Gettysburg, PA that was billed as a major policy address. He mainly focused on his usual grievances 🔴
- A right-leaning nonprofit is planning to place news articles critical of Clinton in black newspapers ahead of the election.
- AT&T has made a deal to buy Time Warner — owner of CNN, HBO, and Warner Bros. — in one of the biggest acquisitions ever 💰
- A black metal band crashed a couple's engagement shoot and the photos are 🤘