As everyone knows, Prince Harry, that oft-naked English royal dude, is currently gallivanting around the United States of America imposing his British monarchial WEIRDNESS on us. He’s also been trying his hand at some Yankee sport, which means it’s time to take a look back through Harold’s history of sports-playing.
3. Last year, he raced Usain Bolt in Jamaica and BEAT HIM.
Prince Harry is the world’s fastest human. He’s also the world’s fastest British Royal, which isn’t necessarily the same thing: some royals are actually well-disguised tea-drinking basset hounds.
4. On a trip to Brazil, Harry played cricket in Rio.
It’s called a “batting spasm.”
5. Run, Harry!
6. On the same trip, he played rugby on the beach with some adorable kids.
Look at him do this rugby move! Nice lateral! Go rugby!
7. And then, flashing back to games of Kill the Commoner from his youth…
… he tackles some poor little girl.
8. Being a nice prince, he helped her back up.
THAT’S A GOOD PRINCE.
9. Next came some Brazilian volleyball, during which Harry very gracefully landed smack on his ass.
10. His final Brazilian exploits involved the true sport of the people.
11. Just kidding, polo’s for landed aristocracy and rich plutocrats.
Fortunately, Harry is both!
12. Once he graced the shores of the United States, Harry tried his hand at some baseball.
He’s got a nice swing, though he could do with stepping into the pitch. Also, not wearing loafers.
13. And for a non-American, his football-throwing motion is surprisingly not atrocious.
Footballs are weird as hell, so it’s hard to blame anyone from outside the States for not being able to toss a spiral.
14. Last but not least: HUMAN PYRAMID.
Great cheer, Harry. Go team. Go MONARCHY.
- Milo Yiannopoulos's book has been canceled after he was accused of defending pedophilia.