1. You look at J.J. Redick, and he fills you with feelings of inexplicable pride and admiration, but you completely understand why everybody hates him.
Like… look at this dude. I love him, but — just look.
2. But you love Lee Melchionni, too. You know who Lee Melchionni is, and you know he’s the prototypical Duke player, and you love him.
3. You’ve seen Cameron Indoor full —
5. You did the whole “Cameron Crazie” thing more than once during your time at school, but now you’re kind of like, “Ha, yeah, you guys are really annoying.” *waves hands like a weirdo*
6. The sight of Derrick Williams gives you legitimate PTSD. I am shaking.
7. While we’re on the topic, so does Joe Alexander.
8. And Eric Maynor.
9. And C.J. McCollum.
10. And Tyler Hansbrough.
11. If only some of these guys had decent NBA careers.
12. With Hansbrough, it’s complicated. You hate him for how he beat up on Duke. You also respect him. Dude played like a rabid bear. It was like he was possessed by Nick Nolte.
13. You hate losing to UNC more than you hate the inevitability of your own death.
14. But you secretly root for UNC, too, because when UNC is good, it makes the rivalry better. It makes Duke look good.
15. Also: photos like this. Peak Derp.
16. Plus, The One Good Moment Of Austin Rivers’ Career.
17. You think it’s weird that former point guard Steve “Wojo” Wojciechowski coaches Duke’s big men, but now you can’t imagine anything else.
18. You know Quinn Cook’s a cocky bastard, and it’s your favorite part of this year’s team.
19. And you know that Seth Curry’s scoring 17 points a game this year even though he has a debilitating leg injury that barely lets him practice.
20. Despite his many flaws, like having the smallest hands of any human ever born, you know that there aren’t many players who can do what Mason Plumlee does.
21. You like Greg Paulus, even though he was a basketball disappointment.
22. You remember Brian Zoubek and his magnificent beard.
24. You were saying how great this guy was long before stat geeks were.
25. And you know that “Perfect Game” refers to this guy’s performance against Kentucky.
26. Even though you also recognize why people hate him. (Seriously: If I wasn’t a Duke fan, I’d probably want Laettner tried at the Hague. That STOMP.)
27. You resent the Dick Vitale has attached himself to the team.
28. And although you wish Kyrie Irving,
29. Luol Deng,
30. and Elton Brand had stuck around longer, you understand why they didn’t. (I wouldn’t have! The NBA pays you!)
31. That being said, you remember all 11 of Kyrie’s games in a Duke jersey.
33. As is this.
34. So, embrace the hate, don’t be obnoxious, and buckle up for March. (Hopefully we make it past the first round. I THINK WE WILL.)
35. And remember: Duke has the greatest college basketball coach of all time.
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