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The Ten Emotional Stages Of Using Uber

YOUR UBER HAS ARRIVED, GURL.

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1. You've received your wait time.

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TWO minutes? Y'all are going to be here in TWO MINUTES?! I LOVE TECHNOLOGY AND EVERYTHING IT STANDS FOR.

2. ...and now you're watching that wait time completely dissipate.

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Five minutes I can totally handle. Eight is doable. 17? YOU'RE GOING TO BE HERE IN SEVENTEEN MINUTES?! ARE YOU PICKING UP ALL MY FRIENDS?

3. You've gotten into your Uber!!

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There really is good in this world.

4. But alas, this Uber is for Abigail.

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Your name is Maureen.

5. Uberx is no longer an option.

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I'm thinking I could walk the 47 blocks home. I could do it.

6. You are FINALLY in an Uber!!

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I want to thank my mom.

7. You're paying dat price surge now tho.

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IS THIS CITY OF EIGHT MILLION AND I ON THE SAME DRINKING SCHEDULE??!!?!!??!

8. At least now you can have a conversation chock full of wisdom with your driver.

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hi pal hi pal HI PAL!!!!

9. In your head you're like "Wow this is a deep ass conversation I'm having with this stranger"

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10. But in actuality, you are literally just engaging in a drunk mess of a conversation with yourself.

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Go ahead and give your driver all the stars. He or she has earned em.

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