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    If Men In Politics Were Described Like Women In Politics

    "Take him out of the House and put him back in the kitchen."

    "Can you savor being a grandfather and be president?"

    "His nagging voice is the reason he lost male vote. When she speaks, men hear, 'Take off for the future.' And when he speaks, men hear, 'Take out the garbage.'"

    "How do you relate to him and his struggles as a father?"

    "He gave a really aggressive, feisty interview."

    "There was a bulge on display Wednesday afternoon on C-SPAN2. It belonged to President Barack Obama."

    "He was asked whether he could serve as governor and still raise his kids the way he wants to. Pressed further on whether he could simultaneously hold both jobs — governor and dad — he said, 'I can be the attorney general and do that. There are plenty of men who juggle.'"

    "What's his likeability aspect? He comes off as not a very likable person."

    "I think he's hot. He's tiny, he's short. He's got a banging little body on him. Facial-wise, I give him about a seven. Body-wise, I give him about an eight-and-a-half. Tight little butt. I endorse him for State Treasurer."

    "When he reacts the way he reacts with just the look, the look toward her, looking like everyone's first husband standing outside a probate court. When he looks at her that way, it's all I could think of."

    "He is really attractive, and he sounds nice. But I don't care if he's as good looking as Ryan Gosling or as nice as Mr. Rogers."

    "That was my first close encounter with Sen. Chuck Schumer, and with The Cackle. At that moment, the laugh seemed like the equivalent of an eye-roll — he felt he was being nit-picked, so he shamed his inquisitors by chuckling at them (or their queries)."

    "He's hot, he's blue collar, he's electable."

    "When he comes on television, I involuntarily cross my legs."

    "He isn't afraid to let his fury fly."

    "The defining issue that will decide this race between two men is mud wrestling. So far, these guys have displayed such lack of class we're beginning to think, Strip down and get 'er on, dudes."

    "It was as close to a breakdown as I've ever seen him. He let his emotions fall out of himself, he can't help it. He was bewildered and frustrated."

    "Seriously, I've had wedgies less irritating than him."

    "There's something about him that reminds me of J.D. Clampett of the Beverly Hillbillies. He's younger, I know, and his face isn't as emaciated. But he's got the same hair and mustache."

    "Living room. Gentleman on a settee. Where's the needlepoint?"

    "In person, he cuts an indefatigable and glamourous figure. He eschews a Church Man mien for something more The Bachelor: fit, attractive, and encased in suits that stop just below the wrist and just above the ankle."

    "He's just a flat-out liar whose face doesn't move because he's had so much work done on it."

    "He, who having apparently untangled the arms of his straight jacket, set out to show that even in a tight field, no one puts crazy in a corner."

    "Is this the face of presidential ambition? Days after he retired as Secretary of State, somebody has launched a website for him, showing off this glamorous new face. Face-lift, perhaps?"

    "It'll be portrayed as they've been away from the state a long time, a househusband who's kind of bored who moved back to Wyoming after a long time to run for the Senate."

    "Take him out of the House and put him back in the kitchen."