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This Is Why It's Hard To Accept Love When You Hate Your Body

Your insecurities are jerks. Kick 'em to the curb.

So you love someone who is a different body size/type than you. And they love you too!

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Release the hounds of adorable pictures onto your social media, so that all the judgemental humans in your life may be mauled by the joyousness of your LOVEEEEE!!!

And even though your love is the most beautiful bouquet full of sparklers…

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...The negative things you feel about your body — and the things people say about bodies likes yours — still affect you.

Falling in love with one person doesn't make you suddenly NOT care about what all the other seven billion people on Earth think about you. (And if you really don't care: Congratulations, you're amazing, how may I take lessons from you?)

And it's so easy for all the little insecurities and fears and doubts about your body to Frankenstein themselves together into the worst third wheel ever.

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Like, borrows-your-HBOGO-password-and-then-spoils-Game of Thrones-for-you level of monster.

This jerk is always getting in the way of your plans. It doesn’t want to go to the beach, because it’s afraid of how you’ll look.

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Your jerk third wheel thinks sex is the perfect time to remind you that you look the same as when you accidentally turn on a front-facing camera.

Charlotte Gomez/BuzzFeed

When your significant other wants to introduce you to their friends, your third wheel thinks it’d be better if you just stayed home.

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Because what if the friends wonder why anyone would date you? What if your S.O. is convinced by their friends to leave you altogether? What if your S.O.'s super-hot best friend sees you and decides that your S.O. must have very low standards, and declares their love for your S.O. that very night? What if you order pizza and everyone else orders salads and it gets weird?

The truth is that your monster WANTS you to be miserable. Because — believe it or not — remaining miserable can feel safe.

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If you're already unhappy, you don't risk hoping for something and then having it taken away. It takes a lot of bravery to choose to believe in something good. Your third wheel doesn't want to do that; it'd rather force you to spend the rest of your life splashing around with it in the depressing kiddie pool of low expectations. At least there, you know what to expect.

Basically, this monster is the worst. And it is turning your relationship into the perfect pair of jeans that happens to have a broken zipper.

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When you don't let yourself be loved, you're denying yourself happiness — and for what? You're not stealing love from someone more deserving. You're not conning someone into loving you. You're not breaking the law, or going to end up in jail. Acting like you don't deserve to be loved is like acting like you don't deserve the sun. EVERYONE DESERVES THE SUN. THE SUN IS FREE.

Which means that you need to kick the third wheel out of your relationship. It sucks.

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If it were a real human, it'd be the type of monster who spits in public drinking fountains.

Uninvite it from everything.

Charlotte Gomez/BuzzFeed

Seriously, delete this asshole's number from your phone. If in the middle of the night this dumb blob of failure feelings tries to hit you up, give it the phone number of the nearest dumpster.

Because you wouldn’t invite a bunch of jerks to your birthday party — why would you invite this dope?

Charlotte Gomez/BuzzFeed

Look, it's obviously not as simple as leaving a dumb person off a guest list — this monster is coming from inside your brain. But it helps to learn to treat cruel thoughts about yourself like text messages from someone annoying and rude: You don't owe them a response. You can just ignore them.

Because it doesn't make ANY SENSE to be more polite and attentive to mean thoughts about yourself than to a person standing in front of you, who just wants to love you.

Body Positivity Week is a week of content devoted to exploring and celebrating our complicated relationships with our bodies. Check out more great Body Positivity Week content here.

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