30 Things You’re Only Afraid Of If You Live In Los Angeles
What do you mean, Obama is coming to town today? Why didn't anyone tell me?!
That you will forget to move your car for street cleaning.
That a digital billboard will be put up anywhere near your apartment windows.
That President Obama will come to visit L.A., making it impossible to get anywhere.
Being on the 405. In the RAIN.
Seeing this on Google Maps:
That you might get food poisoning from street tacos.
That "The Big One" is just around the corner, as all your amateur seismologist friends insist.
That when The Big One does hit, you'll be stuck hiding under your crappy IKEA furniture.
That a pothole on a major road will take your car out.
That what you thought was the marine layer is actually just smog.
Scientology complexes as large as hospitals.
Driving on the highway during an earthquake.
When a police helicopter shines down its spotlight...in YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD.
That some jerk could toss a cigarette from his car and Los Angeles could burn to the ground.
That you will be more than 10 minutes late to a movie at the Arclight, and won't be allowed in.
Being en route to somewhere, and you suddenly hear about a Sig Alert on the radio.
DUI checkpoints after a drinks meeting.
That you might be forced to go to your friend's terrible comedy/sketch/improv show.
That you might be one mudslide away from falling to your doom.
That your boss will go on a juice cleanse, and you will have to deal with their hanger.
That the factory on the beach you always go to will give you cancer.
That a street sign will have so much graffiti on it that you won't be able to read it.
Having to go over the mountains to get to a party.
That you are in constant danger of having your car broken into.
That, in the absence of bike lanes, you are in constant danger of pancaking a cyclist.
That you'll need to be anywhere on the westside after they close down WeHo for the Halloween parade.
That today might be the day that a tsunami actually happens.
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