18 Things No One Tells You Before Going To Disney World As An Adult

    It's the happiest place on earth (to be totally freaking exhausted).

    Kristin Chirico
    by Kristin Chirico

    BuzzFeed Staff

    Hi, my name is Kristin. I am a grown-ass adult, and I recently took a trip to Walt Disney World. It was amazing.

    Kristin Chirico/BuzzFeed / Disney

    This is because I have loved Disney parks my entire life and if I could, I would quit my job and just go live in a giant Dole Whip somewhere, sorry BuzzFeed.

    I spent approximately a year planning and reading blogs, guidebooks, and angry posts on message boards, and I thought I knew it all. I was buckets of wrong. HERE IS ALL THE CRAZY STUFF I LEARNED:

    1. Posing with characters makes great photos, but it is also sort of awkward if you're an adult.

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    Even if you buy 100% into the magic, when you hug them, it's very hard to stop your brain from screaming "YOU ARE HUGGING A SILENT UNKNOWN HUMAN IN A FUR SUIT WHO HAS FEELINGS AND DREAMS AND FEARS."

    We ended up telling all the characters that we are "big fans," because also it's hard to think of things to say to fictional characters who are not allowed to talk.

    2. Many of the posted wait times for rides are definitely inflated.

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    This is especially true for longer wait times. The reasons for this are mostly speculation, but the general consensus is that you will feel WAY better about a 45-minute wait when you were expecting to wait for 75 minutes.

    3. You will literally walk more than you have ever walked in your entire life, and you will have no idea how little kids do it.

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    Disneyland (and Disney California Adventure) are two adorable and fun theme parks where everything is relatively walkable and easy.

    Walt Disney World is larger than the island of Manhattan (seriously). We ended up walking 65 miles in about six days.

    4. Even though you're told that planning everything in advance is MANDATORY for a Disney World vacation... you'll still end up throwing a lot of those plans out the window.

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    You'll get tired. You will stop having any fucks to give. And honestly, you won't even care.

    5. You will see adults throw even bigger tantrums than children.

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    The first time you see it happen, it will come as a surprise: You'll be on the first or second day of your trip, and suddenly, OUT OF NOWHERE, a terrifying fanny pack monster will start yelling at some poor Disney employee for something as trivial as "I'm confused about which food line to be in."

    "What is wrong with people?" You'll think to yourself, because you, sweet innocent vacationer, are on the first or second day of your trip, and you do not yet understand what it is like to be in a body that has walked the earth of Disney World for a week.

    Because little do you know...

    6. There's a pretty good chance that you, a grown adult, will probably also throw at least one tantrum as well.

    Disney

    Sorry. It's going to be really embarrassing, and -- if you're a decent person -- you will feel badly about it afterward.

    It makes sense: Most people get one vacation a year, and they end up spending thousands of dollars on it. The stakes are INCREDIBLY high. On top of this, you're exhausted (SEE ABOVE). You will not be at your best.

    (But seriously, be nice to Disney cast members. They work hard.)

    7. Some of the best food you'll eat will be at the more underrated restaurants.

    Kristin Chirico/BuzzFeed

    "GET A CALIFORNIA GRILL RESERVATION OR YOU WILL HAVE BAD VACATION LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS," bleats every WDW guidebook at you. So you get up at negative 5 a.m. 190 days before your vacation and battle it out with 52,000 other people who are also obsessed with unrelenting perfection in all things.

    But there is great food EVERYWHERE in the parks, and a lot of it is relatively cheap. (The cobbler at Columbia Harbor House? INSANE.)

    8. Everyone's guidebooks tell you to bring your own ponchos...but you probably won't want to wear them.

    Kristin Chirico/BuzzFeed

    Every guidebook is very insistent that you bring your own ponchos to WDW, because for whatever reason, everyone has decided that the one thing at Disney World that they are going to freak out about overpaying for is ponchos.

    Anyway, the thing about the ponchos is that you aren't going to save very much money on them. Also, a poncho basically acts like a little steam cooker for your body. You will wear your poncho for about 17 minutes before you hurl it dramatically from your body, only to find that a gigantic wet plastic unfolded tarp is impossible to shove back into a purse.

    Just get some rain boots and an umbrella -- you'll be better off.

    9. Trying to get to the park early enough to make "rope drop" every day is impossible.

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    "Rope drop" is when the parks officially open in the morning, which can be as early as 7 a.m., aka the worst hour of the day. For people who are ~*~*~obsessed~*~*~ with efficient park touring, getting your sad and horrible body out of bed that early is a critical part of your planning. However, this is definitely a case of your brain writing a check your poor butt cannot possibly cash, unless "person who walks 8–12 miles every day in the heat" is what you do professionally.

    10. And there's a pretty good chance that you won't make all those early morning FastPasses.

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    ESPECIALLY in the last few days of your vacation.

    You'll probably make it for the first two days, maybe even the first three (if you're in great shape and super disciplined). But otherwise, yeah. No.

    11. Many of your Memory Maker photos will be bad, but there will be enough good ones where it's worth it.

    Kristin Chirico/BuzzFeed

    Memory Maker is the package that allows you unlimited downloads for 45 days on all the photos taken by photographers around the park. It's definitely a numbers game, but you'll find that you'll get enough gems that it's worth it.

    12. Sometimes the FastPass line looks longer than the standby line...but it usually isn't.

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    Don't get in the standby line. DON'T GET IN THE STANDBY LINE. IT'S. A. TRAP.

    13. BUT if you're late for your Fast Passes, you can probably still get on the ride (if you're nice to the cast members).

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    We were late for approximately six FastPasses, and we were not turned away at a single ride. In fact, we got confused one night and accidentally tried to redeem a FastPass two days early, and we still got waved through.

    (Everyone's experience may vary -- and we were given a gentle lecture by the FastPass line guy at Space Mountain about the importance of timeliness).

    14. Don't try the Beverly soda at Epcot's Club Cool.

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    YOU WILL NOT BE REFRESHED. I REPEAT. YOU WILL NOT BE REFRESHED.

    15. The security lines at the entrance of the parks can be longer than the lines for the rides.

    Kristin Chirico/BuzzFeed

    If you're bringing a bag into the park, prepare to have to wait awhile.

    16. Half of the entertainment is hearing all the hilarious things that kids say while waiting in line.

    Kristin Chirico/BuzzFeed

    17. The Epcot FriendShip ferry takes forever, but holy jeez does it help out your feet.

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    Is it an efficient way to get around the world showcase? Goodness, no!

    Is it like a 15–20 minute break on a park bench that just so happens to transport you about a 1/3 of a mile? Yes, and it's awesome.

    18. You might feel so much pressure to have a good time that it could stop you from having a good time.

    Kristin Chirico/BuzzFeed

    Yeah, I am crying pretty hard in this picture. Luckily, I can retroactively fib, and tell people that they were ~happy tears~ from being proposed to (!!!).

    The reality is that I had spent most of that day and a lot of first part of our trip crying from stress and anxiety: Would all my precious Disney plans work out? Are there hurricanes in Florida in November? Can you get E. coli from turkey legs?

    After all that work and planning, it can be hard to just relax and accept it's time to have fun. But it's THE most important part. In fact, you have my permission to completely forget all 17 other things I just told you if you remember this.