Every Male Disney Villain's Butt, Ranked From Worst To Best
The most magical asses, in every sense of the word.
Because these are butts that are definitely about breaking the law, let us set the mood:
12. Hades, Hercules
Poor Hades. His bad ass remains shrouded in myth, since his butt is covered in some sort of black toga thing for the majority of Hercules. This is a shame, because based on the curve of those bedsheets, he might have been hiding something truly impressive up in there.
This is the worst butt, because any behind that hides from us is a very bad butt indeed.
11. LeFou, Beauty and the Beast
The second worst butt, but probably would be the worst butt if Hades had not been all but disqualified. From the side, LeFou looks kind of like a wandering butt with legs and a head, like he's not so much a person, and more like a purse that Gaston carries around all his extra muscles in.
Even further horrors: Upon closer examination, it appears that LeFou only has one buttcheek, which must be very difficult for him.
Anyway, sorry for making you look at LeFou's butt. This is not a very good butt.
10. Dr. Facilier, The Princess and the Frog
Ugh, so disappointing. This is more or less a non-butt, as Dr. Facilier is shaped like a wishbone in a suit. Doc Facilier gets points for effort, as he does go to great lengths to work with what little his mama has given him. Dr. Facilier himself casts enough of a spell he makes you forget how unfortunate his butt really is.
Also to his credit, his outfits are very flattering and fabulous, and he was very good at being an ass in all sorts of different ways.
9. Jafar, Aladdin
Jafar has got a raging case of snake butt; it's impossible to tell which part of him is the front and which part of him is the back. This is very good for when you are a snake, but not very good when you are trying vanquish good with the phenomenal cosmic powers of your rear end.
Why he did not use one of his wishes to wish for a better behind for himself, I just do not know. Total missed opportunity, Jafar.
8. Claude Frollo, The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Not gonna lie: Young(er) Claude Frollo had a little bit to work with back there, and he probably knew it, seeing as how he spends the majority of The Hunchback of Notre Dame covered in robes and feeling guilty about having *~*sexual feelings*~*. If I were him, I might be afraid of the unholy power of my buns too.
If we didn't have to see his angry, not-so-nice face, this is a perfectly fine evil behind: not bad, but not truly exemplary, and it might have gotten a higher ranking if it had shown itself off more.
7. Clayton, Tarzan
Clayton's butt is an excellent beginner's bubble butt — not quite bubbly enough to put it on the map, but enough where when he's out hunting for trouble, he will probably find it.
He loses points for traipsing around the jungle in those ridiculous pants, which are not doing his bottom any favors, but overall, this is a moderately impressive bottom.
6. Governor Ratcliffe, Pocahontas
This butt gets PLENTY of evil points — it is the type of rear end that you envision on a guy who spends a lot of time searching for booty in the New World. It's the type of butt that just seems like it's probably really hairy and mean and willing to do anything to destroy your dreams.
However, the pointy-ness of this butt is definitely a drawback — nobody wants a butt that comes to a point. So while this butt has plenty of flair and drama, it stands as a merely average, middle-of-the-pack villain butt.
5. Captain Hook, Peter Pan
Never, never did you expect this to be a pretty good butt. To be honest, if you didn't know it was attached to Captain Hook, you might be compelled to hit it. Hook is the captain of a butt that is fairly bouncy and round, considering that it was drawn around the time of poor Prince Charming's butt, and we all know how that rear end turned out.
Bonus points because this butt is dressed to kill, albeit unfortunately covered in a giant red pirate coat for the majority of Peter Pan. Regardless, this ass is solidly one of the top five evil butts.
4. Mr. Smee, Peter Pan
OK, hear me out: This is a pretty great butt. It has definition, it has presence, and it is not hidden behind a cloak or a cape or a tunic or horse. Sure, this might not be the butt for everyone, but it's important to give this butt its due. Mr. Smee may be Captain Hook's first mate, but he is definitely the commander of the good ship derrière, here.
Now, it's not the most evil of butts — to be honest, it's fairly cuddly — but it's what's on the inside of the villain that counts, isn't it?
3. Shan Yu, Mulan
It's true: In addition to being a very mean bad dude who tried to kill Mulan, Shan Yu is also the leader of one truly impressive bottom. It's round, tight, and obviously good at destroying things — how else would he be able to kick down doors? You can't give his legs all the credit. Shan Yu is the one true leader of the Huns. And by Huns I very obviously mean buns.
If this were a ranking of most powerful butts, Shan Yu is the clear winner — but we are looking for a butt that is well-rounded in a lot of categories, so Shan Yu's behind merely wins the bronze medal.
2. Prince Hans, Frozen
Damn, this is a good butt. This is such a good butt that it was hard to pick only three pictures of it — it photographs well from almost every angle, even with the stupid tails on that stupid coat. It's really easy to see why Anna was willing to lock this butt down on the first night. It's pillowy, but not too showy — the ideal butt for seducing a princess and convincing her to fall in love with you.
This is the silver-medal-winning derrière only because there is something about this butt that is not quite devious enough to take the top spot. Still, if there were a MENSA for butts, this ass would be in it.
1. Gaston, Beauty and the Beast
Gaston is an ass every sense of the word. This butt is so good that if it were not attached to Gaston, Gaston would have probably have tried to fight it for Belle's attention instead of the beast.
This butt has everything: definition, drama, arrogance, tight tights. It's a butt that can turn four dozen eggs into two mighty melons of pure menace.
But if you are still doubting the power of this bottom, consider this: Gaston's butt is probably one of the only things that Gaston truly loves. And that is saying something.