First, let us properly SET THE MOOD:
12. Prince Charming, Cinderella
Tragically, Prince Charming is the victim of the saddest butt in all of Disney princedom. Like, all butts are good butts unless they just aren't even butts at all. His body is like two pipe cleaners glued to the bottom of a really big triangle.
Seriously, this is such a tragic ass:
Even when he leans over, his body just looks like a really fancy bendy straw.
11. Kristoff, Frozen
Kristoff is a very sad case, because his upper body leads us to believe that there might be some serious booty underneath those furs. When he takes it all off, however, Kristoff is actually hiding a pretty meh butt.
Kristoff has the second-worst butt mostly because if you just look at his pelvic area, it's actually pretty hard to tell which side of him is the front and which side is the behind.
10. Prince Naveen, The Princess and the Frog
Prince Naveen is a butt enigma. In the first picture, we see that his butt might be big enough to fill out those voluminous trousers, but later images depict a longer, more lean behind. He is a tragic victim of the fashion of his time, and so we might never know what kind of cute little tush might be lurking underneath those big pants.
However, if Prince Naveen could go ahead and time-travel himself to the 1970s and get himself some tighter fitting pants, his ranking as third-worst butt might be up for re-evaluation.
9. Prince Florian, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
Prince Florian is another mystery butt. On the one hand, look at that cape bulge. On the other hand, we have no idea what kind of fabric that cape is made out of, so we can only go with the slight outline of a tush we can see near his sword/knife thingy.
Prince Florian is ranked above Prince Naveen because we can see Florian's ample thighs. This indicates that there might be a sleeping princess of a butt hiding underneath all of Florian's clothes, just waiting to be kissed.
8. Aladdin, Aladdin
Aladdin also suffers from a tragic case of baggy pants, but a close look at his bottom half indicates that he has a pretty solid butt-like curve. This is promising, given that he is already pretty skinny. If he were able to stay one jump ahead of the lawman a little more frequently, he might be able to steal enough bread to fill his assets out a little more.
To be clear, Aladdin's butt is not bad. If this were a ranking of all the butts on Earth, Aladdin would definitely be in the top 1% of all butts. But this is a ranking of Disney prince butts, where the competition is tight and muscular.
7. Prince Phillip, Sleeping Beauty
Poor Prince Phillip's butt. Like Prince Florian's, it spends the entirety of Sleeping Beauty locked behind a cape and a tunic, never given a chance to be free. This butt is the true damsel in distress of this movie.
Like the other prince butts who are are victims of unflattering costumes, we may never know the full potential of this tush. However, as you can see in each image, we do get some solid plump lower cheek action right below the bottom of the tunic, indicating a possible bubble butt situation. As it stands, this is a respectable butt, but nothing to kill a dragon over.
6. Hercules, Hercules
Can we all just agree at this point that tunics and capes should be banned forever? I mean, just look at the curves happening in that upper thigh area: Hercules did not skip leg day.
But because we cannot truly verify this butt, it must remain only the sixth-best bottom. But based on what we CAN see, Hercules' butt looks like it has the potential to be a hero.
5. John Smith, Pocahontas
John Smith's butt is a truly impressive showing: He's got no cape, no tunic, and he spends a lot of time during Pocahontas falling over or bending or crawling around on the ground. His inability to say upright is our gain.
John Smith has only the fifth-best Disney prince butt, however, because several angles reveal that his bottom is kind of pointy. While this may be due to his pants, unless he is able to take them off and show us that he does not, in fact, have a pointy butt, we will have to assume he does.
4. Flynn Rider, Tangled
Flynn Rider's butt is fourth-best because it is the first butt on this list that you can really envision yourself just grabbing a handful of — an essential quality in any butt.
And, while this obviously cannot be verified, it's also a butt that seems like it might have a good bounce to it. Plus, while this butt may be a thief of hearts, deep down, it's still the kind of butt you can bring home to your parents. It's not the greatest Disney prince bubble butt, but it is a close second.
3. Prince Eric, The Little Mermaid
He may be Prince Eric, but he is king of the bubble butts. Unlike Hercules, his butt isn't just an extension of his muscular thighs. This butt is its own thing. It's on the all-star team of butts for sure.
Bonus points because this butt is very rarely covered up by a cape or a tunic or a horse or whatever. Prince Eric is loud and proud about his behind, and while it is a little smaller than you probably remember it being, it is still the third-best butt.
2. Li Shang, Mulan
Let it be known: This is a spectacular bottom. If Li Shang had been Mongolian instead of Chinese, his name would be Attila the Bun(s).
This butt gets down to business and will easily defeat the huns, and by the huns, I mean your heart and your pants. Plus, Li Shang's butt does NOT hide from us during Mulan, which is very generous of it. However, it is only the second-best Disney prince butt because it tries just a little too hard to impress us. This butt might score more points if it learned to chill out a little, and not worry so much about what other people think of it.
1. The Beast aka Prince Adam, Beauty and the Beast
This butt is the five-day stubble of butts. While it may not be the largest butt, it's the most effortless and cool. It's like an outfit you put on and get compliments about, and then you reply, "Oh, this old thing?" and walk away like you are the coolest person alive. There is a good chance that if a celebrity had a party, they might invite Prince Adam's butt but not Prince Adam.
While many of the other princes clearly work hard on their butts, the "I woke up like this" quality of this butt is what gives you ~feelings~, the kind of feelings that make you wonder if maybe there are any enchanted monsters in your neighborhood that might be interested in your beauty and love of reading.