1. On your butt, shorts aren't shorts: They're underwear. Via imgur.com Try harder, shorts. 2. And it's impossible to wear them for more than 15 seconds without them bunching up between your thighs. View this photo on Instagram instagram.com The first person to design shorts that don't do that is going to make Scrooge McDuck amounts of money. 3. Plus, when you're sitting, your thighs somehow double in size. View this photo on Instagram instagram.com Look, EITHER FIT ME OR DON'T, SHORTS. 4. Not to mention that the crotch of your shorts can cause nonstop drama. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF FOX / Via giphy.com "These shorts really flatter my inner labia," said no one in the history of vaginas. Advertisement 5. The threat of chub rub makes skirts terrifying. Via google.com Forgetting to guard against burning, thigh-chafing horror that is chub rub is like forgetting deodorant: It's not a big deal until around 2:30 p.m., when it becomes a total fucking emergency. 6. And if you end up with chub rub, you won't be able to wear any skirts for at least two weeks. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF FOX / Via giphy.com And god help you if you get chafed thighs and wear a skirt two days in a row. 7. Tank Tops + Big Boobs + Hot Day = The burning fun of upper arm chafing! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via giphy.com Like getting a rug burn from your boobs! 8. Every time you bend over in a dress, you worry about whether or not your butt is still covered. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF FOX / Via giphy.com Sorry, everyone else on the street! Advertisement 9. And no skirt ever fits you the same in the front as it does it the back. Disney/Pixar 10. You are always in danger of your boobs accidentally falling out of your tank top. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via giphy.com Boobies gonna boob. 11. Sweatiness isn't just an underarm problem, it's an EVERYWHERE problem. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via giphy.com And you know you have a good friend if you can commiserate with them about sweating through your underwear. 12. Because underboob sweat can and will strike at any moment. View this photo on Instagram instagram.com By the middle of the afternoon, all of your tank tops will look like they're wearing contouring makeup. Advertisement 13. And one of your biggest secret fears is getting up and leaving a sweaty butt print somewhere. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via giphy.com Bonus points if everyone you know sees it! 14. And you HATE having to choose between covering up more and getting too hot. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Marvel RAWWWWWWRRRR YOU WON'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M SWEATY. 15. But if you sit around totally naked, you'll end up sweatier than you could ever possibly imagine. View this photo on Instagram instagram.com Cannot. win. 16. No bathing suit fits you well in both the boobs and the butt. View this photo on Instagram instagram.com Advertisement 17. And running in a bikini is faaaar more dangerous than it looks. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via wifflegif.com 18. Not to mention that when you go into the ocean in a bathing suit, there is a 50% chance that you will pop out. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via wifflegif.com It is the ocean's mission in life to make you topless. 19. Bikini bottoms only come in two sizes: digging into your hips, or falling off of them. Kristin Chirico for BuzzFeed 20. When you wear a screen-printed tank top, your boobs are going to stretch it out to death. View this photo on Instagram instagram.com Whatever, you're wearing it anyway. 21. There is just no better feeling in the world than getting to air yourself out after a hot day. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Columbia Pictures / Via wifflegif.com Don't deny it, it is HEAVEN. Share On facebook Share On facebook Share On vk Share On vk Share On pinterest Share On pinterest Share On lineapp Share On lineapp Share On twitter Share On twitter Share On email Share On email Share On sms Share On sms Share On whatsapp Share On whatsapp Share On more Share On more Share On tumblr Share On tumblr Share On link Share On link Share On copy Share On copy Omg It's Prime Day!