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21 Brutal Realities Of Having Too Much Damn Hair

Why is my hair everywhere? WHY?

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3. If you try to brush your hair, there is basically a 50-50 chance that you will lose either the brush or your hair.

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Every hair-styling tool you own is like a really bad guest who doesn't know when to leave. That is basically your life now.


5. Using a hair dryer is a really good way for you to cause a citywide power shortage.

You usually have to wait to dry your hair until all your roommates and significant others are gone for the day, unless you don't want them to be your roommates and significant others anymore.

6. You shed so much that you have to buy a pet dander vacuum, because every carpet you have is covered in hair.

Flickr: stephalicious / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: stephalicious

You don't even own a pet. You are basically your own pet.

7. You don't need a tub stopper, because you carry around a portable drain-clogging device wherever you go, on your head.


It's your hair. Your hair loves drains. Your hair would just marry drains if it were allowed, which it is not.

8. Your shower walls always look like a crazy person's artwork.


I call this one, "I can't afford to call the plumber again today, and this is the only way to keep my hair away from its star-crossed lover, the drain."


9. You need about a billion curlers, which you can never keep track of, because they are always rolling away from you and getting lost, stuck, or broken, like little round 2-year-olds.


14. You have to use all of your hair care products by the handful. The damn. Handful.

Lol this looks so gross but am I the only one who uses this much conditioner


Lol this looks so gross but am I the only one who uses this much conditioner

09:04 PM - 11 Dec 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

16. Your hair loves to collect things. Like, really REALLY likes to collect anything it comes in contact with.

Flickr: The Mitzikin Revolution / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: pixel_revolution

Frankly, your hair is a little bit of a hoarder. It really needs some help.


18. ...and it is mathematically impossible to not end up with food in your hair.


It's not your fault that your hair is next door neighbors with the part of your body you use to consume food. Every time you eat it's like you have to clear a path, first.

20. Other people seem to get extensions as frequently as you are giving Locks of Love donations.


How is your body making so much hair? How? Is it outsourcing hair production, or something? Is your scalp running some of sort of illegal hair heist ring? These are the only things that explain where all of this hair could have possibly come from.