23 Amazingly Ridiculous Things You Can Buy At Anthropologie

Leo: Wow. They have a whole kimono section. So I guess kimonos are a thing now. **shrugs**

Kristin: This garment basically says: "Warning: Do not ask me how my kid's preschool application process is going."

Leo: Oh, I know what this looks like to me. It's a dress with Post-Its.

Kristin: She looks like she's wearing a very unsafe rock-climbing wall.

Kristin: When Leo first showed this to me, I literally laughed for 10 minutes.

Leo: Now, whenever you are sad, literally I am just going to look you in the eyes and say, "BROOM."

Kristin: Because it's a DECORATIVE BROOM. Could you imagine dropping a glass in someone's house and needing to use a broom, and that person being like, "No, stop, that's the decorative broom." And you'd be like, "Well then, where's the real broom?" and they would go, "I don't know, I can afford to pay $68 for a broom, I don't clean my own house!"

Leo: Is it a decorative broom, though? In the broom's defense, I think super high-quality brooms are hard to come by and might be expensive. My mom once brought a broom back on the plane from Israel and had to explain that they were the best brooms you could get. People thought it was some sort of religious tradition — to bring a broom on the plane. She had to explain she just really liked getting the house clean.

Kristin: Yeah, 10/10 would make fun of again.

Kristin: This shirt is probably really infuriating to refold if you're an Anthropologie employee working on a weekend. Like, thanks for the reminder of that thing I don't get to enjoy, rich ladies.

Leo: What?! These are my favorite days. This shirt is speaking to me. This shirt says, Hey, don't worry, be happy, the weekend will save you, you stylish Francophone. This shirt embodies everything I live for.

Leo: Wait. Is this a pun? Time...flies? EXCEPT NOW IT DOESN'T LOL SORRY BIRDS YOU LOSE.

Kristin: I think this was designed by someone who read The Hunger Games and really identified with the struggle of all the people living in the Capitol.

Kristin: A new item from the Sexy Adult Baby Collection, I see.

Leo: I get that this is cute. But like, a romper in the daytime is already a nightmare. A romper in the nighttime IS ACTUALLY A NIGHTMARE. I have to pee just looking at it.

Kristin: Who the fuck hangs out inside an armoire?

Leo: This chick is just like, "Oh hello, I was just spending some time in my favorite room of the house. Do you like my tulle gown? Let's go frolic."

Kristin: It's fashion Narnia.

Leo: "Armoires by Tumnus."

Leo: So they're...skeggings? "Skegging" sounds like some weird new sex thing Cosmo would get you to try.

Kristin: I think if someone just handed this to me, I wouldn't know how to wear it. I'd probably accidentally wear it like a romper.

Leo: What do you mean like a romper?

Kristin: I'd take that skirt part and fold it up.

Leo: Dangerous.

Leo: For $575 you better get a lot of wear out of this. I hope it does something else besides just be a headband. Oh! Maybe it's one of those sex crowns they use in Coneheads to have orgasms.

Kristin: Here's a really expensive thing I'll lose at Coachella. Just kidding. I can't afford to go to Coachella.

Leo: I don't think you're missing much.

Leo: Here is a shirt with names of famous Parisian cafés written on it. In other words, this is the clothing version of a tourist trap.

Kristin: This is basically a list of all the French words I don't know.

Leo: Because you learned so many from Forever 21.

Leo: I'm intrigued by the concept of, like, "lounge" robes. Who wears them? I feel like you wear this when you wake up in your beachside suite of the Four Seasons Bora Bora. So I guess it's like a rich lady thing.

Kristin: Who needs a robe when being naked is free?

Leo: Although this is apparently made of Mongolian sheep fur, this recalls the line from Clueless, "At least I wouldn't skin a Collie to make my backpack."

Kristin: I wouldn't buy this because it looks like something that would turn back into a dog if a French girl somewhere were to fall in love with a beast.

Leo: I'd literally never know this was an apron from the picture. I must admit: I own an Anthropologie apron. And it is adorable. It makes me feel like a 1950s housewife. And is it antifeminist to say...I like it? Oh god.

Kristin: Nothing says "I like to live dangerously" like an expensive, lightly colored apron.

Leo: This is like, "You wash, I'll dry...therefore rendering these dish towels completely useless to you."

Kristin: Maybe instead of spending $42 on TWO towels, you should buy a damn dishwasher.

Leo: It says "Waikiki..."

Kristin: No, it actually doesn't, it says "Wai kual... something"

**silence**

Both: Hmmm.

Kristin: It doesn't even say what it is in the product description!

Leo: I feel like this is like that time that volcano in Iceland erupted and no one could pronounce it.

Kristin: For $88 I should know what my T-shirt says.

Kristin: I don't think I want to wear anything that accuses me of being vague and lame.

Leo: "L'âme" means soul. But basically this means, like, "I'm melancholic." Which now makes me feel bad for this sweatshirt. I want to comfort it. Like, "Oh, don't worry, sweatshirt, someone will wear you someday! IT'S GOING TO BE OK."

Kristin: This is basically just the fastest way to lose $25. Like, if you want a guaranteed way to disappear forever, attach yourself to a hair tie.

Leo: That sounds so sad.

Kristin: Every hair tie I have ever owned has since gone into the witness protection program.

Leo: Oh my.

Kristin: You know when you see a dick while it's flaccid and it's one color, but then you see it erect and it's weirdly two different colors? That's what these overalls remind me of.

Leo: "Obliviate!" Damn...I tried to do that Harry Potter memory spell to erase everything you just said from my mind. I cannot believe you just compared denim overalls to a penis.

Leo: I'm unclear on the purpose of this chair, which, by the way, costs nearly $1,000. Like, do you sit in it and draw? Or do you just look at it. Or do you **gasp** sit on it? HASHTAG CONFUSED.

Kristin: This chair will make your apartment feel just like home, because if you buy it, you will get to live with a judgmental-looking mom.

Leo: Make up your mind, bowl!

Kristin: Yeah, this is basically my parents' marriage, in bowl form.

Leo: Opposites attract? **Pets Kristin's head**