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27 Honest Toasts All Thirtysomethings Wish They Could Make

"May you treat yourself with all the money you are now saving on car insurance."

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1. "Friends may come and go, but here's to hoping that Friends is always streaming somewhere!"

2. "Here's to finally being able to throw out the last piece of your Ikea furniture."

3. "May you reach the point in your career where you can offer to pay the bill for all your friends at the restaurant."

4. "I wish for you a whole week where you never see a baby photo on your Facebook feed."

5. "I hope that your exes weddings will never be more beautiful than yours."

6. "To finally having your own HBO Go password!"

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7. "May you never have to attend two weddings in the same weekend!"

8. "Here's to hoping that you get to all of friend's wedding registries before the only items left are pieces of furniture!"

9. "May you never be forced to help your best friend pee while she's wearing her wedding dress."

10. "Here's to hoping that all of your hangovers only last one day."

11. "May you stop getting acne before you start getting wrinkles!"

12. "To leaving the bar at 11 p.m., at the latest!"

13. "I hope none of your grey hairs come back after you pluck them!"


14. "I wish for you a life where you always look better than all your old classmates at every high school reunion!"

15. "May you never miss seeing a movie before they take it off of Netflix!"

16. "Here's to your parents no longer worrying about every single one of your life choices."

17. "May you never drink wine that doesn't come from a box... unless you want to."

18. "Here's to not having to give a fuck about every single trend."

19. "To finally be able to afford the good seats at a concert."


20. "May you be blessed with many bouncers who insist on checking your ID!"

21. "To vacations where you always have your own hotel room!"

22. "To finally figuring out and really being into your 401k."

23. "Here's to hoping that your friends don't make you sit around in a circle and watch them open their baby shower gifts."

24. "May you always be wearing comfortable shoes."

25. "Here's to only being in wedding parties where you're allowed to pick your own bridesmaid dress!"

26. "May all of your landlords allow dogs."

27. "Cheers to not giving any fucks!"

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