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    18 Halloween Costumes That Are As Ridiculous As 2016 Has Been

    Friends don't let friends go as the BP oil spill for Halloween.

    by ,

    1. Grass Second Skin Zentai Suit, $29.99

    Kristin: Why would a sentient grass person need a fanny pack? Is it going to Disneyland?

    Chrissy: If he's carrying weed in that tiny pouch, he's definitely the world's worst drug dealer.

    2. Way High Patrol Man, $29.99

    Chrissy: The only thing more offensive than this costume are those fake Oakleys.

    Kristin: Yeah, the most annoying part about this costume is that there was definitely a way to execute this general concept without being racist. JUST HAVE HIM COVERED IN POT LEAVES. But this thing is just the phrase "Well, actually..." in costume form.

    3. Skeleboner, $18.22


    Chrissy: I love this costume because it screams "I FAILED BIOLOGY" all the way across a crowded party room.

    4. Bad Planning, $29.99

    Kristin: ... is this actually a BP oil spill costume?

    Chrissy: The only "bad planning" here is the existence of this god awful costume.

    5. Adult Hit And Run Costume, $19.97

    Kristin: "So what are you going to be for Halloween?" "Oh, I'm going as a tragic yet common occurrence that destroys lives and speaks to ongoing flaws in modern city planning."

    Chrissy: If you want to be a dead person, go as a fucking ghost, not as "the spot where a dead body once was."

    6. Convicted Cutie Costume, $36.95

    Kristin: Very good for when you forget where the boobs are.

    Chrissy: Glad to see the ol' 55378008 calculator trick successfully made it past elementary school into full adulthood.

    7. Inflatable Doll Men's Costume, $23.99

    Kristin: So this should help you answer the question of whether or not you'd ever fuck one of the Mario Brothers.

    Chrissy: A blow up doll without genitalia is just a shitty mannequin.

    8. Teen Rapper Costume, $42.99

    Kristin: Setting aside the fact that this costume is right out of the "Opinions Your Uncle Acquired After Watching Dangerous Minds Once" collection, did they really need to point out which part was the "underwear?"

    Chrissy: This is deeply inaccurate. Everyone knows teen boys only wear boxers.

    9. Kids Blimpz Light Up Blue Inflatable Costume, $39.99

    Kristin: What is this kid even dressed as? Someone whose night of treat-or-treating will come to a screeching halt the first time they tell their parents they need to pee?

    Chrissy: "What are you dressing up as for Halloween?" "Oh, just a human dutch oven fart."

    10. Capitol Hill, $61.95

    Kristin: How do you have a Hillary Clinton pantsuit costume WITH NO PANTS?

    Chrissy: *GASP* Hillary would never be seen in public without highlights.

    11. Poop Costume, $37.59

    Kristin: The poop emoji doesn't need a body, it's not like we're not taking it to Olive Garden or something.

    Chrissy: They'll give poop arms, but hands and fingers are where they draw the goddamn line.

    12. Lady Luck, $42.47

    Kristin: "I'm going as that feeling you get when you find $5 in an old purse!"

    Chrissy: *won $4 in Las Vegas once*

    13. Zombie Banana, $39.99


    Chrissy: Sorry to spoil (heh) the fun, but isn't this technically just a rotten banana?

    14. Earthworm, $39.99

    Kristin: Yeah, this kid is toast the second his friends see him and he knows it. His face is just like, "I don't know what sex toys are yet, but I'm pretty sure that's what I look like."

    Chrissy: Poor kid has no idea he dressed up as a clitoris for Halloween. :(

    15. Halloween Trendy Red Sleeveless Stand Collar Air Inflation Latex Clothes, $169.99

    Kristin: Yes, this was listed under Halloween costumes, and more specifically, "Skeleton & Monster suits."

    Chrissy: I don't need to pay $170 to get my boyfriend to hold my purse for me.

    16. Father Pimp, $35.99

    Kristin: He's a pimp but he's also a priest? And if he can't commit to one profession, does he really need to wear both uniforms at the same time? 'Cause I feel like one of his two workplaces is going to figure it out soon.

    Chrissy: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. But, like, apparently not as bad as you.

    17. Men's Hanging Around Costume, $29.99

    Kristin: This is not a costume. This is literally just "I'm me, plus people can see my balls."

    Chrissy: Can't wait to flop one boob out of my tank top this Halloween and call it "Woman's Hanging Around Costume."

    18. Bubble Wrap Costume, $19.99

    Chrissy: Good for people who are accident prone, bad for people who hate being touched.

    Kristin: The only connection I see between this and Halloween is that this dude looks he was brought to life by a witch who cast a spell on a SkyMall catalogue.