I Made That Vegan "Chicken" That's All Over TikTok To See If It's As Good As Other Meat Alternatives
All it takes is flour, water, and a whole lot of patience.
I'm a vegetarian who's tried a lot of chicken substitutes, both store-bought and homemade, so I decided to see if this recipe was as easy as it looked.
First, I mixed together two cups of flour and one cup of water. While kneading, I added a little more water because it was pretty dry. I kept kneading until it looked like this.

Yes, it felt as disgusting as it looks.
Then, it was nap time for the flour blob. I let it rest for an hour.

So far, it was similar to making bread, except there was no yeast.
Next came the part I was truly dreading — time to knead the dough while rinsing it.

It's like the evil twin version of all those satisfying slime videos on Instagram.
After the now-wet blob rested for another hour, I pulled it back out to twist and knot it. I twisted it for about five minutes. It felt like making really slimy, gross balloon animals. I also added vegan chicken-less seasoning salt from Trader Joe's. Then, I fried it until it was brown on both sides (about two minutes her side).

Pro tip: you should probably twist it more than you think you should, since that's what gives it the "meaty" texture. You should probably cook it slightly longer than I did, too.
Then, I drained the oil, added veggie stock, and let it simmer on low for 45 minutes. When it was done, it looked like this.

Fresh out of the pan, it was very...rubbery. I wasn't able to shred it like in the original TikTok, but I think that's because I didn't twist the dough enough.
I decided to try it plain so I could get the ~full experience~. After the first bite, I wasn't too impressed, so I decided to compare it to a few other vegan chicken alternatives I conveniently had on hand.

It was more chicken-like than the baked cauliflower or the chickpea nuggets (based on my memory of chicken...it's been a few years). However, the texture was more similar to the frozen "chicken" patty than the one from my favorite vegan restaurant.
I tasted them all, then ranked them to get a better idea of how the homemade seitan measured up.
