If you've ever watched a movie and decided you want to become an actor or listened to a song and daydreamed about pursuing a career as the next Taylor Swift, then you're certainly not alone.
Oftentimes, the same thing happens with the amazing books we read, leaving us with literary aspirations of publishing our own bestsellers someday.
Especially now, with so many people spending their free time at home due to ~current circumstances~, a lot of people have decided to finally pursue their dream.
Here are some things you'll totally get if you've ever tried to write a novel.
1. It is absolutely not fair that the book will not write itself.
sometimes writing a novel is opening your soul and letting the muse flow through you like wind through the tall grass and sometimes it is staring at an empty computer screen, shaking your monitor furiously, tears streaming down your cheeks, screaming "WHY WON'T YOU BOOK!??!"
2. You're writing to escape reality, not take inspiration from it.
Obviously, however long the quarantine, however great the temptation, however desperate the urge, please don’t write a novel about it.
3. Your characters are worse at doing as they've been told than Caillou.
Before kids, everyone said "get a puppy, it's good practice." They should have said "try writing a novel!" This character? Totally won't listen to me. Keeps trying to do their own thing and- Hey! Where did you get that trope? PUT IT DOWN. Is that... a cliche? SPIT IT OUT.
4. You're only writing this because you couldn't find the oddly specific story you craved on the bookstore shelves.
I feel like writing a realistic female academic falls in love with vampire novel, in which she can’t join him at his castle in France because she’s been offered a tenure-track position at a small liberal arts college in Ohio.
5. You have to make sacrifices in order to get any writing done.
Me: I'm gonna cook tonight. My book draft: Girl. Me: I'm gonna order delivery for the third day in a row. My Book: That's what I thought. #amwriting
6. Factchecking is key.
Asked Dad to read manuscript to check authenticity. He calls me in middle of night. "Son there's a problem w/ your book" Did I get it culturally wrong? Was I racially insensitive? Butcher the language? Insult entire continent? "That's not how you butcher a chicken" #amwriting
7. Sometimes, you want to shout from the rooftops about how amazing your story is...
My 8 yr old is working on his novel. After every sentence he says, 'Hell yeah! This is amazing!' then moonwalks round the room singing a verse or two from Smooth Criminal before continuing to type. I can't help but think his process is way cooler than mine. #amwriting
8. ...And sometimes you want to bury your laptop in the backyard, never to be seen again.
Thinking of the idea of a novel vs writing the novel https://t.co/pMuYORxLWA
9. Being a writer is basically assigning yourself homework...
Replace "Doing homework" with "Writing your novel" and you understand this is an intergenerational Scalzi problem. https://t.co/UjO1TPpDDt
10. ...But you're still going to sharpen those procrastination skills.
WHAT ARE WE? "Writers!" WHAT DO WE DO? "Write!" WHAT ARE WE WRITING? "Tweets about writing because we're totally slacking off right now but we plan to write soon we promise!" YOU SLEEP IN A BED OF LIES! #amwriting #writerslife #writerproblems
11. It would be so much easier if someone else would make a reference guide for what you've already written.
Publisher: We need the top five quotes from your book. Me: And you want me to come up with them? Publisher: Yes. Me: Sorry, I got nothing. Publisher: But you wrote the book. Me: Yes, but I didn’t know there was going to be a test. #writingcommunity #amwriting
12. Finishing the first page/chapter/draft is exhilarating...
I wrote three thousand words today. Seeing as how I'm a total noob and this is my very first book, I feel very proud of myself! #amwriting #feelinghappy
13. ...But revisions can make you reconsider everything.
Me: I've finished my book. Writers: Awesome, now you just need to edit it. Me: What? Writers: You know, comb through it, fix issues. Me: Like this? Writers: ...No, that's lighter fluid. Me: is this editing?!? Writers: It's... It's burning. #amwriting #WritingCommunity
14. There is no "perfect time" to start writing.
"Now's the perfect time to write your novel!" Ah yes, those ideal writing conditions of world-altering pandemic, economic collapse, general anxiety, and a daily barrage of horrifying news.
15. After awhile, you may feel like you'll never be able to write another word again...
How it started: How it’s going: I’m gonna write I have a novel during forgotten how quarantine to read
16. ...But you can't help but dream big.
I just want to finish this book, give it to my agent, and have several major publishing house fight over who can buy it at the highest price. Is that really so much to ask? #WritingCommunity #amwriting
17. You have just as much anxiety as you do excitement about the day your story is finally out in the world.
Writing a novel is like tweeting except it takes years for people to start yelling at you.
And, finally...
18. Even when you feel like quitting, you know your persistence will pay off by the time you type the end.
somewhere tonight there's a girl writing a novel between working two jobs, ignoring the voices telling her to give up. I hope she never does. I hope her future is a good one.