We Asked Teachers To Share The Most Embarrassing Thing A Student Caught Them Doing And My Whole Face Is Red
"Sir, you need to shit."
We recently turned to teachers of the BuzzFeed Community to share the most embarrassing thing a student has seen them do. And, truly, we are laughing with them, not at them!
1. "I was alone and eating some leftover ice cream from the carton in the teachers' lounge. There were a few scoops left, but I decided to throw it away. Then I decided I wanted the rest, and the carton was sitting upright in the trash, so I took my spoon down into the trash and got another big scoop...right then a student walked in and saw me."
2. "A student opened the bathroom stall — that I didn't realize wasn't locked — and saw me sitting on the toilet picking my nose."
3. "One morning before school, I tossed my black winter coat in the dryer real quick to warm up. Later, I was having my kindergartners line up when one said I had something on my back. I couldn’t reach it, so I asked the student to grab it. The 5-year-old held my lace panties up in the air in front of 20 other kids."
4. "When the Jonas Brothers got back together, I had a dance party in my classroom while the kids were at music class. Two of them came back in the classroom early and saw me."
5. "I couldn’t remember if I had put deodorant on one morning, and I was alone before class, so I sniffed my armpits. A kid walked in early, saw me, and looked mortified."
6. "I was at a track meet cheering for my students during a relay race, and my blouse strap broke and exposed my left boob. Afterward, my students joked that I was trying to distract the other team!"
7. "Not a teacher, but it was my biology teacher's first year of teaching, and she was answering a question about reproduction, explaining the DNA transfer between males and females during intercourse. Well, instead of saying the anatomically correct terms, she said 'dick' and 'pussy' in front of 30 freshmen. The entire class went absolutely crazy. The next day, the principal sat in during our class period."
8. "I tried to motivate a track athlete that was walking laps by running in a dress in heels. I tripped, did an unplanned cartwheel, and ended up breaking my foot."
9. "I'm not a teacher, but I remember in seventh grade, I walked in on my teacher moaning and pleasuring herself in a sexual way during lunch break."
10. "I'm a high school teacher, and I didn't realize I ripped the butt of my jeans. Every time I walked into a room, I heard jokes about 'just ripping though school today' and 'just tearing you up.'"
11. "Last year I had a fling with a colleague of mine. It was the best sex of my life, and although we tried to keep it outside the school, we would sometimes steal a kiss when we were alone. One time, we both happened to be in the copy room at the same time, so we started getting romantic. Then one of his students — who had been allowed to borrow another teacher's key to fix something for an assignment — walked in on us. It was the most awkward moment of my career!"
12. "One of my students and his family walked past me in an aisle at the store as I was buying Monistat and said, 'Hi.' It was mortifying."
13. "I was once leaning over a student's shoulder to help him with a math problem he was working on. As we were talking, a blob of spit fell out of my mouth and right onto his lap. He froze. I froze. I momentarily thought about wiping it off but realized that would be even worse and would likely get me on the news. So I politely finished my sentence and walked away. We never, ever spoke of it."
14. "I had a free period because my students were in PE class, so I just stayed in my classroom. Since I was alone and not expecting anyone to come, I lifted my shirt to fix my bra, slightly exposing my breasts. I didn't notice one of my students came in to get his water bottle and saw the whole thing."
15. "I tried to tell a fifth-grade student he needed to sit down and shut his mouth due to the constant outbursts he'd attempted for about 15 minutes. Instead I said, 'Sir, you need to shit.' The whole class died laughing as my soul left my body."
16. “I’m a teacher at an all-girls high school, and I was out with my friends one night — an 8/10 drunk — and we met some of my students. My friend shouted to them, ‘He’s not what he says he is! He leads a double life!’ He thought he was being really funny. I'm still mortified every time I go out.”
17. "A student walked in on me pumping breast milk during my prep hour while I was grading papers."
Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.