Here Are 23 Horrifying Things Teachers Have Actually Caught Their Students Doing
"I caught a student in science class using the arm from the class skeleton to masturbate."
1. "I teach first grade and walked past my student’s desk as he was putting his bitten fingernails in his pencil box. He said, 'They’re for my brother.' YIKES."
2. "A bunch of sixth graders at my elementary school were really into Animal Planet. They would act like animals during recess, running around on all fours, play fighting, etc. The real problem was when 'mating season' hit and they started rolling around on top of each other and 'mating.'"
"Luckily, they were completely oblivious to what mating actually was and didn't put up too much of a fight when they were told to stop."
3. "I caught a student in science class using the arm from the class skeleton to masturbate during class."
4. "A boy in my class, who had a crush on another student, gave her a hunk of venison as a present. It leaked blood and meat juices all over her stuff."
5. "I had a student who was taking a really long time in the bathroom, so I went in to check on him. He had taken all of his clothes off, plugged up the sink, and climbed in to take a bath!"
6. "My student was refusing to do his written work, so he aggressively collected all the snot from his nose and wiped it all over my worksheets for the class that day!"
7. "From across the room, I thought an eighth grade girl was texting on a phone in her lap. I circled around the room to catch her, but realized she was fiddling with her belly button. It turns out she had put her chewing gum in her belly button and gotten it stuck in there, so she was frantically and discreetly trying to get it out.”
8. "I had a student fake a seizure. He refused to talk or move, and was unresponsive sitting in his chair. He had to be taken out by ambulance."
"The medics confirmed it was not a seizure and nothing was wrong with him."
9. "I had a student sitting 'criss-cross applesauce' on the floor who slid a hand up inside each of the leg holes of his shorts, pulled his hands out, and smelled them."
10. "One of my male students folded his uniform pants into Daisy Duke shorts so he could shave his legs. He did so with no water, shaving cream, or soap. When I caught him, he offered me his razor as a gift."
11. "I'm a teacher at a childcare center and I was outside with a group of 3-year-olds. I found one of the girls sticking her hands in her diaper and smearing poop on EVERYTHING. It was on the climber, on the ground, on her clothes, and in the sand. We had to hose the playground down."
12. "A student of mine Googled 'sexy old lady' on his Chromebook and attached the pictures to his assignment. He was a fourth grader. To him, 'old lady' meant a girl in her twenties. I had a hard time not laughing out loud when I caught him."
13. "A first grade student came running into my fellow teacher's classroom one morning with a large bra in his hand. He brought it for show and tell."
14. "I had a student who was known for eating bees and pencil erasers – it was so random."
15. "This is really, really gross...but I once saw a second grade student picking scabs off her legs and eating them. I almost threw up."
16. "Once I had a parent phone in to ask whether or not my student had brought the TV remote to school in her book bag. Apparently they'd had a fight and the child decided the best revenge was to stop her family from watching TV..."
17. "I saw an entire table of fourth grade boys trying to eat lunch without using their hands."
18. "A student of mine was playing with chicken bones in her desk. The bones were from lunch a couple days before. When I asked her why she had them, she smiled and shrugged it off like it was nothing."
19. "While I was circling the classroom, I caught a student eating some of my hair like it was spaghetti."
20. "I had a kid bring a dead squirrel to school in his backpack, he said he found it on the road while walking to school."
21. "I have a kindergartener who is so anxious to come to school that they throw up and then get on the floor and eat it."
22. "I once had a student who forgot that her sugar glider was sleeping in her bra when she came to school. She pulled me aside and told me she had a monkey in her bra. Sure enough, out came this furry little creature."
23. "I found a first grade student with a chair leg in her mouth and she was sucking on it!"
BUT! Not all kids are gross and weird...some are actually geniuses:
"I told a kid he wasn't allowed to count on his fingers while doing math. He asked me for a piece of scrap paper to work on instead. I came back and he had traced his hand on the paper so he could still 'count his fingers' without having to use his actual fingers."
Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.