1. Had your kid spit food they didn't like in your hand.
2. Scooped your kid's turds out of the tub.
3. Ate your kid's picked-over leftovers.
4. Stuck your hand in the toilet to fish out a toy or some other object your kid decided to throw in there.
5. Rubbed snot off your kid's nose with your bare hand.
6. Bitten food into pieces for your kid when you didn't have a knife (or were too lazy to use one).
7. Smelled your kid's diaper even though you were already pretty sure it was poopy.
8. Taken a drink after your kid.
9. Caught barf with a part of your body.
10. Used your shirt as a washcloth.
11. Cleaned your kid's face with your spit.
12. Taken a picture of your kid's impressive (or questionable) poop.
13. "Cleaned" a dirty pacifier or bottle nipple by licking it.
14. Really used the five-second rule.
15. Took just a LITTLE taste of your own breast milk.
16. Knew there was poop somewhere on you, but didn't change because you weren't sure where it was.
