She starts her video by saying, "Are you still expecting yourself to 'O' while you're in this position? It's not going to really help you that much in terms of clit action."
Then she explains in the video, "Try to get some leverage with your feet and your legs and pop a pillow under your bum. Take your legs, place them down, have your pillow here (under your butt), and then as they're here (on top of you), try to start rocking back and forth so that your clit is being engaged."
And it was clear in the comments that Nell's advice has been tested and approved.
People love it!
They get wildly great orgasms doing it!
To learn more, BuzzFeed spoke to Nell, who said that the biggest mistake people with vaginas make when having sex on their back is that they allow their male partner to place them in a position where their legs are bent in, squeezed up to the chest, or when their legs are positioned on top of their partners' shoulders with their hips and butt elevated.
So, if you want to experience a good orgasm on your back, you should first take a pillow and place it under your butt. "The positioning of a clitoris can vary in each person's vulva and usually having that slight elevation will shorten the gap between your clitoris and your partner's stomach/pubic bone so that it can rub up against them."
Next, you'll want to place the soles of your feet on the bed or ground (wherever you're lying) and make sure your knees are bent. "As your partner is in between your legs and inside of you, start to make a slight rocking motion of your pelvis. Either front to back or side to side, it just depends on what your body feels most pleasure in. Pull your partner closer if your clit isn’t touching them, and then — together — work to create a rhythmic pattern so you both can enjoy. Remember that you're not supposed to just lay there, you need to be moving your own body as well," she explained.
We also asked Nell if there was a "best" position to orgasm in. Her answer? Not at all. "Anyone who claims that they know the best position is denying the fact that peoples' vulvas, vaginas, and clitorises are all different and therefore need different things," she said.
"I like to start my female clients who’ve never had an orgasm in a position where they’re rubbing on top of a pillow with a vibrator and lube first because it’s easier for them to control the pressure, speed, hip movements, and gravity which helps blood flow to the clitoris. But sometimes this doesn’t work and they can get closer on their back or their side. Thousands of women reach climax in a position called Syntribation that is very hushed up in our society — this is where they squeeze their legs together super tight in a few different positions and can orgasm within minutes without a toy or their hands. They sometimes feel immense shame around this because we don’t see it in mainstream adult content. I actually developed the first-ever course around Syntribation which is on my website. There are so many different ways to cum and I’ll say that if you can orgasm in a specific position, then that’s the best position," she said.
Nell has also shared helpful information for people to identify what an orgasm is and what different kinds can feel like. "If you feel like you've reached a build-up but then just feel a tiny tingle or a small amount of release then it's likely you're having a small tension orgasm. This means that there wasn't a deep build-up which usually leads to better orgasms. I have an explanation of what an orgasm feels like on my Instagram which has been helpful for people in identifying that they are in fact experiencing an orgasm, just a very small tension one."
Lastly, Nell wants people to realize that many factors can cause women to not feel happy with their sex lives. "Power dynamics, shame, stigma, and body insecurities are just some examples of things that can hinder our right to pleasure and so much more. I work with it all and nothing is weird about this. We have grown up in a world where we are taught how to experience pleasure by many people who don't even know what it feels like. So, it's time to reclaim our right to have orgasms, to make noise or be silent, to reach down and touch our own clits instead of our partners, take the extra-long time we need, and to go for another round because we can."
Nell is releasing a course in January that teaches you everything you need to know about orgasms, sex, communication, intrusive thoughts, anatomy, how to orgasm in different positions, and more. You can get your pre-sale tickets here! You can also listen to her podcast, Millennial Triggered, and follow her on TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram!