1. Went the whole day with your jeans unbuttoned and unzipped.
2. Didn't shave...
3. Went to the drive-thru alone to order a #2, #5, and #7 with a milkshake.
4. Dropped something and didn't pick it up.
5. Put a mirror between your legs because you wanted to remember what it looked like BEFORE.
6. Not worn certain shoes because...cankles.
7. Blamed your hormones for your behavior.
8. Purposely held your hand under your belly so people would know you were pregnant, not fat.
9. Snuck some stuff for yourself on your baby registry.
10. Peed a little in your pants.
11. Dyed your hair.
12. Cried alone.
13. Been so constipated you were scared the baby was going to come out if you pushed any harder.
14. Squeezed your nipples to see if breast milk would squirt out.
15. Exaggerated the pregnancy "waddle" to look more legit.
16. Drank caffeine.
17. Forgot to take your prenatal vitamins.
18. Had full-blown adult conversations with your belly.
19. Ate ice cream out of the carton. All of it.
20. Got disappointed if the sex of the baby wasn't what you wanted.
21. Experienced discharge that was just weird.
22. Used your pregnancy as an excuse to not have to do something.
23. Passed gas in public.
24. Spent way too much time getting the perfect angle for that nine-month-preggo selfie.
25. Planned a sex marathon to induce labor.
26. Psst! One last secret: You weren't really listening during any conversations because all you thought about was food.
