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    Updated on Nov 1, 2019. Posted on Oct 29, 2019

    Halloween In The Midwest: A True List Of Unfortunate Events

    Happy Halloween, it's going to be 23 degrees with snow!

    Squeezing your costume over all your layers of clothing...

    Trick or treating outfits in the Midwest: First layer: long sleeve shirt + leggings + socks Second layer: sweatshirt + additional pair of leggings Third layer: hat + gloves + shoes Fourth layer: Halloween costume + inability to have full range of motion

    ...and hoping you don't have to go to the bathroom the entire night.

    Knowing that, no matter how tightly you've bundled yourself, you're still going to freeze just for some candy.

    Not being able to see any of the decorated pumpkins because they are covered in snow.

    Slipping on ice and spilling your loot of goodies.

    Resorting to Christmas music to cheer yourself up a bit.

    Forecasts of snow on Thursday next week on Halloween. Sorry I don’t make the rules.

    Being prepared for not just snow, but any type of weather at any given moment.

    Rain on Halloween, surprising no one. #midwesthalloween

    Accepting the fact that the cool costume you had wasn't served justice.

    Halloween in the Midwest as a kid: Having a cool costume but you couldn’t fully show it off because you either had to have a jacket on over it or you had to get two sizes too big so you could wear layers under it

    And not being able to feel the parts of your body that you forgot to cover up, but knowing it was totally worth it.

    Picture this: it’s Halloween night in the Midwest. You just came inside and you can barely feel the parts of your body your costume didn’t cover up. As you defrost, you dump out your pillowcase of candy on the living room floor and sort it. Hocus Pocus is on. Life is good.

    STAY WARM THIS YEAR, ALL YOU MIDWEST TRICK-OR-TREATERS!

    #RuinHalloweenIn4Words “Put your coat on” Halloween in the Midwest is the worst.

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