Men Who Have Dated Female Social Media Influencers Are Sharing Just How Different Their Relationships Were And What They Learned From Them
"If you're the jealous type, it's not gonna work."
And when it comes to dating them, people definitely have opinions. So, today we are going to talk about people who identify as male and their experiences dating female influencers.
"I dated a girl who was on the come-up while we were seeing each other — she has millions of Instagram followers now. She was absolutely stunning in real life, but that said, many of her pictures heavily exaggerated her proportions, her face, makeup, filters, etc. to make her a standard of beauty that was unattainable." —u/illegallad
u/illegallad also broke down everything that he learned from dating this female influencer for a year:
1. "That shit is a full-time job. You need to post often, and getting the perfect pic takes time. You, the man around, will be the cameraman for many of these photos, and it can be annoying."
2. "She made six figures when we were dating, and I suspect she makes more now."
3. "I got used to being psuedo-VIP at a lot of clubs, etc. just because she was there. A lot of guys get weird about it."
4. "Speaking of guys, and this goes for all women, not just Instagram influencers: You get to see how rapey/creepy a lot of men can be. I very frequently had to 'bail' her out of uncomfortable situations as she would frequently get cornered at clubs, grabbed at, have guys make impromptu proposals, etc. You really get to see why women have their guards up so often as many men do not take no for an answer.
Needless to say, if you're the jealous type, it's not gonna work. Also, dirty Instagram comments and DMs are ignored or laughed at by her (and I suspect others as well)."
U/kelldricked dated a smaller influencer who had around 35,000 followers.
"She was pretty and liked fitness. A few of the downsides were:
1. Everything needed to be recorded. Every small thing I did was shared with the whole internet, which sucks and gets old real fast.
2. She is a different person online than offline. Which also sucks — my friends often didn't understand why I kept dating her until they met her in person.
3. People harass the shit out of you. Countless losers insult/attack you with stuff like, 'I'm stronger than you. I lift more, bla bla bla.' Buddy, of course, you're stronger than me; I don't go to the gym for fun — I like sporting outside, and that's it. She doesn't date me because I am hot.
4. She was insecure about a lot of things and used social media to boost her confidence — which is great, but she depended too much on it. I really thought I was gonna marry her, but it was horrible to see how much she needed all the compliments of strangers to feel good about herself.
5. It takes a lot of time. I swear every day was 2–3 hours of managing and making content."
Then U/kelldricked shared some advice for anyone who does date influencers:
"1. Know why she likes you. (I consider myself no more than a 6 on the 10 scale of attractiveness. She liked me because I was fun and interesting. Don't start doubting yourself based on appearance. She has far more reasons to date you than your muscles.)
2. Talk about the whole influencer stuff. If you don't want to be in it, then she should know that and respect that.
3. Make it clear that you aren't in the relationship for looks or the wrong reasons."
U/Forethought-47 said, "My relationship with an influencer didn't last because I couldn't get over the feeling that she was getting more fulfillment from strangers on the internet than I could give."
"But would I be willing to do it again? Yes, if you can balance the intimacy with your partner and your career. That is easier said than done. My advice? Have days off or don't use your phone after [whatever} o'clock so that you can have alone time with whoever you find."
Other thoughts about dating female influencers in the thread included:
"I would date them, but it depends on if they are actually interesting as a person and are able to switch off their 'influencer' job long enough to have a meaningful relationship." —anonymous
"I am perfectly comfortable dating someone who is pretty for a living, but I do not want to be her selfie stick or her arm candy. I have a job." —u/sjrsimac