"The Trash Took Itself Out" — This Woman's Husband Sold All Of Her Baby Shower Gifts And Left Because He Said She Overreacted. Here's How People Are Reacting
"He said we already have a nursery full of essentials..."
Our story today comes from a 27-year-old woman who has been with her 32-year-old husband for three years. They are expecting their first baby together, and the original poster (OP) recently had her baby shower.
"Long story short, my family and friends decided to throw me a baby shower and brought me a variety of gifts which consisted mainly of baby care essentials. I stored everything in the storage area but woke up the next day and they were all gone. I freaked out and called my husband. He didn't pick up, so I waited 'til he got back. He got back with money in his hands, I told him my baby shower gifts were gone, and he said he took them and sold them...all of them — the baskets, books, pajamas, diaper pack, pacifiers, stuff worth 50 to hundreds of dollars," she said in the Reddit thread.
When the OP asked him why he did this, he said it was to help his friend pay to fix his van so he could go on a trip with him. "I started yelling at him saying that I needed those things for our baby, but he said we already have a nursery full of essentials, then said he had no choice because his friends threatened to exclude him from the trip if he didn't help fix the van," she said, adding that they got into a bigger fight where he told her she was overreacting about the whole situation.
The OP then decided to tell everyone who gave her a baby shower gift what he had done. "He started getting calls and texts from them, basically calling him names and shaming him. He yelled at me saying I fucked up and acted immaturely by exposing him to everyone and sending them after him. He said that this is his baby, too, and he is entitled to half those gifts. He believes I told them a sob story and ruined his reputation. He left and has been staying with a friend, refusing to return my calls 'til I fix my mistake," she concluded.
Whether or not the OP is an asshole is not a debate — she isn't one (and it's sad that she thinks she might be). The Reddit Community shared their perspective and suggestions to help the OP:
"You're not the asshole; find yourself a good divorce lawyer."
"Yep, a hubby who steals from his soon-to-be-a-mom wife will only get worse."
"OP, please read Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. This is abusive behavior."
"Not the asshole. The trash took itself out, OP. Can you afford to stay where you are alone? Or do you have family to stay with? I'd get a divorce lawyer and be glad he showed his true colors before the baby came."
The story was so upsetting that it was hard for people to stomach that it was a real situation:
"Like five times a day, I read a post and think, 'Can this actually be real? Are people really this heartless and selfish?' This is one of them.
I must be really lucky that I don't know anyone who would behave this way. If I did, I hope to hell that his partner would blow him up to me and everyone else like this, LOL. He would deserve it. Maybe (1% chance but it's worth it) he would learn something about how to be human."
People also found his excuse for selling the items to be unacceptable...and some believed it was a cover-up for a drug habit:
"To fix a van…give me a break! He is a thief! Send him down the road in that van. What a poor excuse for a human being."
"My girl's biological dad would sell their things. A few times he would take the babysitter's money and spend it. I would have to hide it in the diaper bag and call her to tell her where it was. I eventually left him. He was using the money for drugs."
"My uncle's baby mama did something similar to this. Only she wasn't 'paying to fix a van'; she was paying for drugs."
Basically, people urged the OP to take a step back and look at the whole scenario as an outsider to get a clear picture:
"So your husband took all of your child's gifts and sold them because he wanted to take Himself on a trip with his buddy?
Reread that OP.
Your husband STOLE gifts from your child. Then sold them so he could have the money for himself! That is so messed up. It's infuriating, and no, it's not OK.
You had absolutely every right to tell your family and friends what he did. They spent hundreds and thousands on gifts that he probably sold for cheap because he wanted quick money for selfish reasons.
I'd happily start packing his shit or my own while he's gone. This is not someone you want to raise a child with. HE stole from HIS own baby because he feels HIS own WANTS are more important than his child's needs. HE'S so selfish that he can't see past his own needs and greed."