"Am I the Asshole?" is an opinion-based forum on Reddit where people ask if they're assholes for how they handled certain situations — and boy, do people have opinions!! Today we want to open a conversation about a grandparent who wants to know if they're in the wrong for not wanting to babysit their grandson without payment.
Let's get to the details, straight from u/iri_baker67 — the grandparent. In the thread, they explained, "My daughter is 29, she has a 1-year-old son and will be returning to work soon. She works five days a week (about seven to eight hours a day from 7:30 a.m. to 3 p.m.) and asked me if I would be willing to babysit her son either two or three days a week. Of course, I am open to spending time with my grandson, but I explained to her that I would like to be paid $12 per hour..."
"She understood my need for payment, but then lowballed me with $10 an hour because she claims that she cannot afford it even with her $22 an hour job. She says that it’s only two to three days a week since her husband’s parents are babysitting on the remaining days while she works, and she’d be providing food. I love my grandson, but I’m not a daycare..."
"I have my own life, I work for myself, and I think she should understand that I’d be giving up my time when I work from home, and if I’m going to be giving up that time, then I need money to replace the time I’m giving up from my job. While I am working at home, I cannot simply work and watch her child at the same time," they concluded in the thread.
To start off, user u/MeggieKat87 doesn't think the grandparent is an asshole for asking for payment, but they do think they are an asshole for asking the daughter to fork over such a large percentage of her pay, pre-taxed.
And speaking to the amount that the grandparent is asking for, user u/shhh_its_me broke it down with this scenario: "If she drops the baby off at 7:30 a.m., the daughter will have to get to work, so 15 minutes there and 15 minutes back, which is 30 minutes of unpaid lunch. She may pay for eight hours of babysitting and be getting paid for seven hours of work."
Other users sided with the grandparent, however. "A daycare center offers a ratio of one caregiver to five children for that age group. One-on-one childcare is a luxury. Unfortunately, many parents don't realize this and feel entitled to one-on-one care for the price of daycare or less," one anonymous user said.
One person pointed out that people are quick to side with kids who demand payment for babysitting their siblings, yet they don't support grandparents who ask for payment.
And some believed that the grandparent should have some sort of professional qualifications to demand the pay that they did. "Do you have current CPR, pediatric CPR, first aid certification, or at least an associate's degree in early childhood development? In my area, these are the qualifications for paid childcare workers who earn that much," said user u/CajunKC in a comment.
Lastly, there were some who thought the grandparent should just be happy to spend the time with their grandchild — without payment.
