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This Woman's Date Sent Her Home In An Uber Because He Was "Too Embarrassed To Be Seen With Her" In The Outfit She Was Wearing

"When they could be a character in a 2005 RomCon, that's a red flag..."

Krista Torres
by Krista Torres

BuzzFeed Staff

Nikki Jabs is a 30-year-old woman who recently had a terrible, short-term relationship with a guy she met on the dating app Hinge.

After Nikki was seeing the guy for less than a month, he invited her to an event* for his work and she decided to go. However, before they even got to the event, he sent her home:

*Nikki said the event was a soft opening for an athleisure clothing brand the guy worked for in Chicago.

BuzzFeed spoke to Nikki, who said that when he first saw her in the outfit, he kept staring her up and down. "When I inquired as to why he was staring, he kept saying 'nothing.'"

@nikki.jabs / tiktok.com

Here's the outfit she was wearing (she has a pink coat over it in the video above).

Nikki is wearing a dark long-sleeved crop top with light colored pants with a fabric belt tied into a bow at the waist
@nikki.jabs / tiktok.com

After his initial reaction, Nikki could tell something was up. "I knew nothing positive was going to come of it. I pressed him until eventually he said, 'You just look so… pretty.' I knew it was code for ‘You are too dressed up.’"

@nikki.jabs

Reply to @1180sparky He wasn’t comfortable with me around his coworkers, but was comfortable sending me home with a stranger in an Uber.

♬ original sound - Nikki Jabs

Before the event, they decided to go to dinner, so that is when Nikki decided to bring up the uncomfortableness about her outfit. "He said I wasn’t too dressed up for dinner. I reluctantly asked him if he wanted me to go home and change and he replied, 'I feel so bad now.'"

After that comment, they finished the dinner in silence. "He brought up my outfit again and I told him I was either going in that outfit or not going at all. He then asked if he could order me an Uber back home (to his house)," she said.

@nikki.jabs

Reply to @247drip_ Greg update Part 3 (recorded Nov 1st) 🥺 The pattern of behaviors is peculiar to witness now.

♬ original sound - Nikki Jabs

"I remembered how my high school boyfriend used to try and tell me not to wear heels to school, but I never gave in. I decided now wasn’t the time to give in either as I felt that my outfit was appropriately casual for the event. I was wearing long sleeves, showing no cleavage, long pants up to my waist, and didn’t think an inch of my midriff was too much as crop tops are a current casual style trend," she added.

Nikki knew the relationship was over for her because he had tried to dictate her appearance before. "For a couple of weeks, he had been making small comments about my clothing and makeup, which eventually turned into suggestions. Seemingly genuine compliments of 'you look so much prettier without makeup' turned into 'I like you better without makeup' and then those turned into 'you don’t need to put on makeup tonight.'"

"He had also made suggestions like, 'You should just wear this sweater instead of that top,' suggesting I wear baggier clothes instead of dressier tops that fit better."

"When we finished eating, I asked him for his Venmo so I could send him money for dinner. He gave me a very angry stare, stood up, and walked out of the restaurant, leaving me in the booth. I put on my coat, walked outside, grabbed my belongings from his car, and got in the Uber he ordered," she said.

"The Uber home was short. I cried the whole time and texted my close friend what had happened," said Nikki.

After the Uber dropped Nikki off at his house, she packed her belongings and left. "He began calling me when he got home, but I didn’t answer. He then texted me that I forgot my laptop. I went back and he brought out my laptop and begged me to come inside so we could talk. He said he felt horrible, that my outfit would have been just fine for the event, and that he wished he hadn’t said anything because we would have been having a great night otherwise."

Nikki said that after her videos about the situation went viral — with over 25 million combined views — women who have been in controlling relationships are stepping forward to offer support. "They all agreed that it starts small…small compliments that turn into comparisons and then suggestions. In many situations, this behavior escalates into dangerous situations," she said.

My ex did this to me. It's got nothing to do with your outfit. He was insecure about something and wanted to make it your problem
@nikki.jabs / tiktok.com

"I never felt uncomfortable or unsafe — I honestly believe his behavior stemmed from his own insecurity. He constantly told me I was way out of his league and even scoffed one day when I told him I was going to grab a drink at a speakeasy when he went out of town, saying, 'You’re probably going to get hit on by a bunch of men.'"

Nikki hopes that her story helps other people find the strength to not let their partner dictate their lives. "I hope they learn to recognize red flags early and find the courage to end a relationship before their partner’s behavior becomes emotionally or physically unsafe," she concluded.

You can follow Nikki on Instagram and TikTok.