A popular subreddit called "Am I the Asshole?" is an opinion-based forum where people ask if they're assholes for how they handled certain situations. We recently featured one where a woman's coworker wanted her to give her some of her vacation days — and today we have a new one to discuss.
Here we go: A 28-year-old woman has been babysitting for a mom who continually disrespects her time by constantly being late. In the Reddit thread, the babysitter says, "I definitely should've phased out by now, but the kids are cute, and if I don't have another job, it's easy money. I'd go babysit so she could go to 'brunch,' but she'd be gone from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. My whole day was gone. After that, she'd start giving me times but never stick to them. She wouldn't even call to tell me, she'd just stay out."
Well, a recent experience babysitting for this mom pushed the babysitter over the edge, and she called the cops. DCF (the Department of Children and Family Services) ended up getting involved. Here's the story as told on Reddit...
"I got to her house at 6 p.m., and she was supposed to be home by 9 p.m. I told her she needed to be on time because I had plans to go out with friends. She promised. Of course, 9 p.m. rolls around and she's not home. I call her, no response. Text, no response. Another hour. Nothing. Still calling and texting. Finally, it is midnight. By this point, my plans are long ruined, but I'm pissed and exhausted. I call her and leave a voicemail saying if she's not home in the next hour, I'm considering the kids abandoned and calling the cops. I also text her this. I try calling her 30 minutes later, and it goes to voicemail. On the second ring, I text her again, and she leaves me on read..."
"If she had reached out saying, 'Hey, I'm staying out until X time,' I would've stayed. I don't know any of her family or the father of the kids, so I can't call them. I gave her a grace period of 15 minutes and tried calling again. Finally, I called the cops. They came and I showed our agreement in our text exchanges from earlier in the week, confirming that she'd be home by 9 p.m. They tried contacting her and she didn't answer. I was dismissed and they took the children to the police station. I went home and went to bed," she wrote.
Then, around 3 a.m., the babysitter was woken up by a frantic call from the mom asking where her kids were and why she wasn't there. "I told her I followed through on my threat, and to check the police station. She cursed me out; I hung up and went to bed. The next day, she sent me an essay saying the kids' father had been called and there's a DCF investigation launched against her. She called me every name under the sun. I didn't think I was wrong until I spoke to a friend with kids. She said I should've just waited it out and refused to ever sit for her again. She asked if her potentially losing her kids was worth me being petty," she concluded in the post.
Most of the people of Reddit quickly reassured the babysitter that she didn't do an asshole thing by calling the cops in this particular situation. Here is some of what they had to say:
"A woman can't be contacted at night — still can't be contacted past midnight...any person's mind will definitely think something bad happened to her."
"Let’s be honest: OP wasn’t being petty. She reported a bad mother! This was not the first time this woman did this, and she would continue doing it to whoever watched her kids because she is selfish and doesn’t care. Too bad choices have consequences. Maybe she will learn, but I doubt it."
"You're not an asshole. One thing I’ve learned from True Crime is the 'wait 24 hours to file a missing person' thing is a myth. She wasn’t where she said she’d be when she said she'd be there, and wasn’t responding to any communication. She was, in fact, a missing person at that point."
"The only thing the OP did wrong, and this barely counts, is putting up with this as long as she did. 'She went for brunch but didn't get back until 7 p.m. and I was there for eight hours' is not 'easy money.'"
"When the kids are older, is she going to leave them on their own for hours or days on end? Just heard a report in the news where kids were left alone so long, they were on the brink of dying from starvation because the parent left them to ‘go have fun.' You did the right thing. They weren't your responsibility after 9 p.m. You stayed until long after you needed to and gave her ample time to respond. She even saw the messages and still didn't respond. She knew what was up and decided to ignore you and her kids' well-being. That's child abandonment as well as neglect."
"As a mom — even if my kids are with my husband or my family — I always check my phone in case of an emergency. To be totally MIA for over four hours AFTER the time you were due home is bad. And when a sitter is calling, it could mean there's a bigger problem or an emergency."
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.