Anal Sex Lovers Are Sharing The Things Everyone Needs To Know Before Doing The Deed

The five rules of anal sex: lube, lube, lube, lube, and lube.

Welcome, welcome! Let's talk about butt stuff. We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community who enjoy anal sex to share their best tips!

Nickeloden

Here's what they had to say...

1. Let's start with the most important thing: CONSENT. Make sure you and your partner both want to have anal! Then make sure you're with a person you trust — someone who will listen to and respect you.

TV Land

"As important as lube is, having a partner who will listen to you during anal sex is just as important. You need to communicate what’s going on because when it’s good, it’s good...but it could be bad real quick if your partner doesn’t understand how you are feeling."

—adrianaa415ffb068

"I just came to say anal sex is amazing when done patiently and correctly. I prefer anal sex over vaginal any day. It is such an intense sensation, and it feels incredible if your partner respects your boundaries. I think everyone should at least try it and see how it goes. It may surprise you, as it did me."

—Desiree Stokes

"Make sure everyone fully consents. Pressuring or coercing someone into anal isn't cool. Women, don't let men tell you that you have to do it if you love him or if you're dating."

—zombiedolllizkah

"Don’t do it — EVER — unless YOU want to try it. Doing it for someone else when you have no interest and just want it to get done ASAP is a sign that maybe you’re not listening to your own body and your own desires, and are instead focusing on theirs. If you don’t want to do it, please DON’T! This goes for every single sexual or physical thing in the world and for all gender identities and all sexualities."

—CallaLillyIvy

2. Always use lube — and try to find one that is specifically for anal sex!!!

Pop TV

"The five rules of anal sex:

1. Lube

2. Lube

3. Lube

4. Lube

5. Lube"

—pridey

"Make sure you have lube, and if it starts to feel dry, add more — don’t be shy! My first time hurt like a bitch, but I tried again and now I love it."

—Hisbutt

Here's a list of top lubes for anal sex.

3. Start with one finger in your anus, then slowly work your way up to more fingers before you let a penis or dildo enter.

NBC

"Start with your fingers before you take the D. Insert a digit and then gently pull to each side. After a while of this, move up to two fingers, gently separating them while changing angles. Then go to three fingers and keep the stretching up. You are going to feel a little pain at first, but if it's a sharp pain — STOP. The last thing you want to do is cause an anal fissure."

—tomb4adc7727a

"TAKE IT SLOW. Start with something thin — a finger is perfect — and get comfortable with that. Girth is usually the barrier, so start thin and make your way toward thicker. Grab some anal relaxing serums. CBD lubricant is amazing!"

—jafro

4. Try using toys before doing the real thing!

FX

"The first few times, it can feel like you're pooping, so using toys first can help you get over that sensation before you try anal sex. Prep with a douche and lots of lube. For women, clitoral stimulation makes it way better!"

—Monnie

"Make sure no toy goes in without a flared base or something attached to it so it can be retrieved!"

—emmamarie8724

5. And if you have a clitoris, try using toys to stimulate your clit during anal.

Universal

"For those who don’t have clits, explore stimulating other body parts during it!"

—CallaLillyIvy

"Clitoral stimulation is key during anal! Lots of foreplay, lots of lube, and warm up with fingers or toys before starting."

—lenekauslandr

6. CUT YOUR NAILS (and make sure your partner's nails are trimmed if you're receiving)!

Universal

"When I put my fingers in my husband, I always make sure my nails are short and start slowly."

—Hisbutt

"CUT YOUR PARTNER'S NAILS. You need to do foreplay, and fingers are great, but make sure they aren’t sharp, as that can ruin the experience."

—Emma Jackson

7. Ask your doctor, and if they say it's okay, douche beforehand.

NBC

"Use an anal douche if you are worried about cleanliness. My stool can be irregular, so I'm not always sure if there are small bits that can come out while doing it and if those small bits are even hard… Anyhow, it really eases my mind when I know that everything already ‘came out’."

—olgan4800382c8

Here is a helpful guide to anal douching.

8. And remember that poop happens.

Adult Swim

"The anus is a poop chute. IF possible, when you can imagine that sexy time is going to happen, try to clean the pipes first! Otherwise, lube isn't going to be the only sticky substance in the ol' bunghole."

—quarterhorse411

"Poop happens no matter how perfect a job you think you did of 'cleaning out.' Don't be embarrassed, and have towels close by. If a partner tries to make you feel ashamed that there's some poop, drop them."

—madalynw

9. Find a position that feels the best for you.

Netflix

"Positions matter, especially in the beginning while you’re getting used to it. I’ve found and heard from many women that lying on your side (like the way you’d be for a colonoscopy) makes it much more comfortable to receive. I don’t know why — it apparently just works well."

—CallaLillyIvy

"The only way I can do anal is in the spooning position. It's the most comfortable for me."

—s4e3512291

10. Consider getting a dildo mold of your partner's penis so you can enjoy sex in both holes!

IFC

"It can be so nice to change it up. We like to use a dildo mold of his dick and put that in one hole, and him in the other — that is just an amazing feeling."

—Hisbutt

11. If you don't like it, stop.

Disney

"Don’t forget that you can say no or ask to stop at any time. It can feel pretty intense (in a good way), and sometimes you might need to take a short break or stop. Or you may not like it, and that's okay — just stop altogether!"

—lizm75

12. Don't switch back and forth between anal and vaginal sex.

Paramount

"Do NOT go from anal back to P-in-V. That's just crying out for infection."

—Elle Blair

13. Relax, breathe, take in the whole experience, and communicate with your partner.

TikTok

"It’s about the journey, not the end result. My partner and I have been exploring this for almost two years, and initially, I just wanted to get to the sex part to 'get it over with,' rather than figure out what I enjoy. We also use marijuana to help me relax, and of course lots of lube. It’s also taught me the importance of communication during sex. I would never explore this with someone I don't trust, but it’s amazing — a whole new level of pleasure for sure!"

—jayzee103

"The tenser you are, the harder it is for penetration, which means it's going to hurt more. Take a deep breath, embrace the moment, and enjoy!!"

—anthonym456cee462

14. Try using butt plugs beforehand.

Universal

"Plug up beforehand to stretch a bit and weaken those clenching muscles. I use two sizes. When my partner wants to be involved with this part, it makes it all the better. I love having them watch or help and then give oral while I wait."

—dggardne1988

"Butt plugs! They really do make it easier, especially if you’re venturing into the land of anal sex for the first time. Take it slow and don’t worry if it feels as if you’re taking a shit — that’s completely normal, and chances are you aren’t actually shitting!"

—maggpie87

15. And finally, if you (or your partner) are having sex with other people, don't forget to wear a condom.

TV Land

"The risk of contracting an STD is higher during anal sex. Rubber up, people!"

—Lydiabee

Speaking of wrapping up, that's a WRAP on anal sex advice from our community of seasoned experts. Got a tip that wasn't listed? Let us know in the comments!