Here's What It's Like When You Physically Can't Pierce Your Ears

    The impossible search for a pair of clip-on earrings that won't damage my ear.

    When I was 10 I got my ears pierced. For a brief moment I felt like a princess.

    However, a month into my new-found maturity, things weren't right: My ears kept bleeding, they were constantly sore, and small lumps were forming on my lobes.

    After multiple nights awake, crying to my mother as she cleaned blood-red dots off my pillow case, we went to the GP and got an answer: The small lumps were keloids.

    Keloids are raised scars that occur when a wound abnormally heals. They vary in size depending on the size of the trauma site.

    My keloids were removed with plastic surgery, but since then I've actively avoided anything that would cause cuts to my skin, including new piercings and tattoos. It sucks.

    All I've wanted is to find a comfortable, wearable alternative to actual piercings so I can safely live out my rebellious teenage fantasy.

    Sadly my memories of fake-ear piercings as a teen are bleak – sore earlobes, lost backs of magnetic earrings, desperate glances over at girls whose ears resembled pin cushions.

    So I decided to see if fake earrings had improved since my youth. Maybe I could finally wear those big hoops or tunnels I'd always envied.

    I searched on the high street and online to find the clip-on earrings of my dreams.

    Day 1 – Topshop Hardware Vintage Jewellery floral clip

    Day 2 – Claire's Love Hoop Clip On Earrings

    Day 3 – New Look Gold Mini Wire Ear Cuffs

    Day 4 – New Look Cage Ear Cuff

    Day 5 – Topshop Hardware Vintage Jewellery (Tassel)

    Day 6 – Eternal Collection Mia Lilac South Sea Shell Pearl Close Fitting Silver Clip On Earrings

    Day 7 – Claire's Accessories Magnetic Bee Stud Earrings


    Despite the 10-year break since I last tried clip-ons, it seems the fake jewellery market has not yet created earrings that both stay on and don't leave lumps on my ears, but I'm happy that there are a range of styles on the market so non-pierced people aren't just stuck with boring clip-on studs.

    Since writing this piece, I've grown overly attached to my heart-shaped hoops. Although I can only wear them for a few hours at a time, seeing that earrings can suit me has given me the confidence to experiment with other styles of fake piercing.

    And if there are any clip-on earrings out there that are willing to make a long-term commitment to my ears without the nasty swelling side effects, it could be the start of something beautiful.