"Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen...."
Bored with winter? Dreaming of a tropical getaway? Seven wonders of the world not hip enough for you? Well, look no further than "Hell's Door" in Turkmenistan! All the resort amenities of a fiery pit into the depths of the earth, in the middle of a desert, that you could possibly want! Not for you? Perhaps maybe one of these other wacky places will work (I heard Hell's Door wasn't all inclusive anyway).