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The Definitive Ranking Of The 2013 NFL Quarterbacks, By Hottness

Because it's your gameday too, Ladies!

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32. Mike Glennon (Tampa Bay Buccaneers)

CBS Sports / Via cbssports.com

It's hard enough to be a Buccaneers fan these days (0-8 on the season), but it makes it SIGNIFICANTLY harder to root for them when their quarterback is the spitting image of Napoleon Dynamite (sans the white man's afro).

30. Peyton Manning (Denver Broncos)

ESPN / Via espn.go.com

Peyton Manning is undoubtedly one of the greatest quarterbacks to grace the NFL, but that doesn't mean his forehead shouldn't more appropriately be called a "fivehead."

29. Ben Rothlisberger (Pittsburgh Steelers)

Pittsburgh-blitz.com / Via pittsburgh-blitz.com

More aptly named "Ben Rapelisberger" (too soon?), this guy might be one of the scariest looking dudes in football. And he definitely wins "worst body" too.

24. Geno Smith (New York Jets)

It's just hard to stomach (looks wise) that Jets fans went from...

23. Robert Griffin III (Washington Redskins)

GQ / Via gq.com

As a born and raised Redskins fan, it pains me to put RGIII so high on this list. The 2012 Offensive Rookie of the Year is talented, and arguably the nicest guy in the NFL. Still that doesn't excuse him from wearing this to his wedding...

21. Chad Henne (Jacksonville Jaguars)

blacksportsonline.com / Via blacksportsonline.com

(Note: the picture below is, unfortunately for Jaguars fans, not Chad Henne) It's a sad day for Jaguars fans. Not only are they 0-8 on the season, but like the Jets, they seriously downgraded from this sexy motherf***er (Blaine Gabbert)...

TMZ / Via tmz.com

Packers fans now have to rely on Seneca Wallace to bring home a victory against the Eagles today. What he will not be winning is best ANYTHING in the looks department...

13. Colin Kaepernick (San Francisco 49ers)

dynastyfootballwarehouse.com / Via dynastyfootballwarehouse.com

Although Colin Kaepernick scares me a little (in a sexy kind of way?) and is not my type, he has a RIDICULOUS body AND is definitely the quarterback most likely to get naked in the NFL (always a good thing...)

12. Joe Flacco (Baltimore Ravens)

Sports Illustrated / Via sportsillustrated.cnn.com

While Flacco has definitely aged gracefully, he's aged nontheless...still, I wouldn't kick the 2013 Superbowl winning QB out of bed...just so long as he never rocks this look again...

10. Ryan Tannehill (Miami Dolphins)

counterkicks.com / Via counterkicks.com

Keeping with the trend that the hottie quarterbacks in the top 10 on this list have a hot significant other, Ryan Tannehill and his wife do not disappoint...

9. Tony Romo (Dallas Cowboys)

hollywood.com / Via hollywood.com

As a Redskins fan, I had to be objective on this one. As much of a giant douche crybaby as Romo is, he is handsome enough to be featured in Jimmy Kimmel's Handsome Men's Club...and marry a Miss USA contestant. So despite those ears, he must be doing something right...

8. Russell Wilson (Seattle Seahawks)

thescore.com / Via blogs.thescore.com

Russell Wilson is definitely a cutie pie and has a smokin hot wife to boot. The only thing holding him back is that he's a little on the short side for a QB.

6. Philip Rivers (San Diego Chargers)

lifenews.com / Via lifenews.com

You'd expect that being a father of 7 would wear a man down. But aside from the few pounds of "sympathy weight" he's gained over the years, Rivers has still got it...

2. Tom Brady (New England Patriots)

theawesomeboston.com / Via theawesomeboston.com

Coming in as the #1 DILF, Brady, who is almost too hot for his own good, would usually take the number one spot on this list...he recently wore his hair like this (see below)...and that's just unforgivable.