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How To Socialize At Work

If you're like me, you want to make friends in your office but don't know how!!! Also if you are like me you work on a lonely island and only have a 5 second window of time to make an impression. And you're lactose intolerant.

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Monday:

Ooooh boy it's Monday again. You should probably comment on how it is Monday. Again. Gonna be a long one amiright Cheryl?
Via google.com

Ooooh boy it's Monday again. You should probably comment on how it is Monday. Again. Gonna be a long one amiright Cheryl?

Tuesday:

Everyone is still pretty wiped from Monday. Shake things up! When someone says "how are you?" respond with "hanging in there. Thank God for coffee, huh?" and then you'll both have a good fake laugh about it.
Via google.com

Everyone is still pretty wiped from Monday. Shake things up! When someone says "how are you?" respond with "hanging in there. Thank God for coffee, huh?" and then you'll both have a good fake laugh about it.

Wednesday:

Wednesday! You're halfway through the week! Tell everybody. Inform everyone that you are in the home stretch. It's not like they have experienced how weeks work their entire lives.

Wednesday! You're halfway through the week! Tell everybody. Inform everyone that you are in the home stretch. It's not like they have experienced how weeks work their entire lives.

Thursday:

You got over the hump! It's almost Friday, the day we've all been waiting for! It's been a long one right Karen??? AM I RIGHT KAREN??? ARE MY EYES BLEEDING KAREN?

You got over the hump! It's almost Friday, the day we've all been waiting for! It's been a long one right Karen??? AM I RIGHT KAREN??? ARE MY EYES BLEEDING KAREN?

Friday:

You did it! It's pretty much the weekend. What a relief!!! Wipe that blood from you eyes and never stop talking about how relieved you are that you are free of this hell for two whole days.

You did it! It's pretty much the weekend. What a relief!!! Wipe that blood from you eyes and never stop talking about how relieved you are that you are free of this hell for two whole days.

In Summary:

Monday-Tuesday: "Oh boy can't believe we're back here, huh Tom?"

Wednesday: "wow oh wow almost over the hump! That went fast, even though I spent the last two days talking about how slow this week was."

Thursday: "Thank fucking god tomorrow is Friday."

Friday:

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