1. That time Coulson talked shit about gods.
2. That time he made a dad joke look good.
3. That time he was like, "I'm the prettiest princess of all."
6. That time he emerged from the shadows like a dark and beautiful queen.
7. That time when he said, "Not today, or ever actually cause I'm a robot," to the God of Death By Van Door.
8. That time Coulson literally sassed Fitz into increased productivity.
9. That time he simulatneously told Maria Hill she was shit at Pictionary while telling Ward he needs better people skills.
10. That time destructive gravitational force didn't merit anything more than a pithy one liner.
11. That time he actually sassed his aging process into reversing.



Or he's a robot that will never grow old and die.
12. That time he reminded everyone that he likes this car more than he likes most people.
13. That time he was like, "You're making a huge mistake," but in the politest way.
15. That time he effectively silenced a room without even a glance.


But there is one person his superpower will never work on:

