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    Posted on Feb 28, 2013

    11 Things That Will Terrify You If You're Home Alone

    DO. NOT. WANT.

    1. A falling poster in the middle of the night.

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    Like a rabid animal clawing it's way towards your exposed underbelly in the dark.

    2. The first time the heating turns on.

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    And you spend a terrifying moment think there's a demon breathing int he corner of your room before you realize it's just the radiator.

    3. When the floorboard directly outside your bedroom door shifts.

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    And you KNOW that it was too loud and heavy to be an 'old house settling' sound.

    4. Toxic sludge pouring out of the faucets.

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    And you don't notice until the blood of the former tenants has already touched your skin.

    5. All your lightbulbs burning out at once.

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    And you're flooding by darkness and WHAT THE FUCK IS TOUCHING YOUR LEG.

    6. Simliarly, SPARKS.

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    And the last thing you see before you die in fiery blaze is that piece of toast you were trying to make.

    7. That ominous rumbling of something that's hungry.

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    And by the time you realize it's the ice maker you've walked around the whole house with a baseball bat and your cell phone.

    8. Doors slamming shut for no apparent reason.

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    (You may have left the window open.)

    9. And then this happens when you try and get out.

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    HOW DO YOU DOOR WITHOUT A DOOR KNOB?

    10. When you're rinsing shampoo out of your hair and shower curtain liner suddenly clings to you.

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    And you have a split second to think, "Don't let them find me like Laura Palmer."

    11. And finally when your pet stares at literally nothing for a long time.

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    TRUST THEIR ANIMAL INSTINCTS.

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