1. Your main reason to use emojis is to express your disappointment in dicks.
2. You talk in your sleep, but it's just the one sentence.
3. Your patronus is the Notorious R.B.G.
4. Your favorite karaoke song is "***Flawless" because you don't have to sing well, you can epicly monologue Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's interlude.
5. You believe there's only one thing men are actually good at.
6. You got that BLOCKA BLOCKA BLOCKA button on lock.
Every time I block a racist troll I wish twitter would have a little pop up icon of me doing the heisman on em
7. Hashtags are your best friend.
Overarching theme of Agent Carter so far is #BanMen and I love it. 🙅🙅🙅
8. You have exactly three complaints about Orange Is the New Black.
I mean, also Pornstatche but seeing as he was barely in the last season...
10. You've perfected the art of the clapback.
11. Also you LOVE to femsplain things.
"I don't want kids, and that's ok. As it turns out, not wanting kids will absolutely not make me “less” of a woman." https://t.co/yDuoC7XdOJ
12. You carry a cigar cutter for ~reasons~.
13. This is what your happy place looks like.
All squad, all day. Let the coven commence.
14. You wish upon every man Arnold Schwarzenegger's fate in Junior.
For those of you who've never seen this, Arnold Scwarzenegger is a male scientist who gets pregnant (for science) and has to gestate and birth his spawn (for science). Yup, just your classic Hollywood mpreg story that somehow also stars Danny Devito and Emma Thompson. Just try to legislate me and my body now fuckbois.
15. You've actually succesfully passed a health and sexual education class.
16. You've fantasized about meeting Robin Thicke and just pointing and laughing in his face.
17. You've banned Woody Allen and all those who refuse to acknowledge how problematic their fav is from both your DVD shelf and your life.
18. You know who the seventh circle of hell is truly reserved for.
19. You collect all the male tears you've caused and bathe in them once a year to fortify your infinite wisdom.
20. The only god you know is Beyoncé.
21. You understand that misandry isn't real (just like reverse racism!) because there's no fucking way a minority can systematically oppress a majority.
