1. Your main reason to use emojis is to express your disappointment in dicks.
2. You talk in your sleep, but it's just the one sentence.
3. Your patronus is the Notorious R.B.G.
4. Your favorite karaoke song is "***Flawless" because you don't have to sing well, you can epicly monologue Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's interlude.
5. You believe there's only one thing men are actually good at.
6. You got that BLOCKA BLOCKA BLOCKA button on lock.
7. Hashtags are your best friend.
8. You have exactly three complaints about Orange Is the New Black.
I mean, also Pornstatche but seeing as he was barely in the last season...
9. Magic Mike is the most frequently watched Blu-ray in your apartment.
10. You've perfected the art of the clapback.
11. Also you LOVE to femsplain things.
12. You carry a cigar cutter for ~reasons~.
13. This is what your happy place looks like.
14. You wish upon every man Arnold Schwarzenegger's fate in Junior.
For those of you who've never seen this, Arnold Scwarzenegger is a male scientist who gets pregnant (for science) and has to gestate and birth his spawn (for science). Yup, just your classic Hollywood mpreg story that somehow also stars Danny Devito and Emma Thompson. Just try to legislate me and my body now fuckbois.